Things have been rough in the Ferrell house- so I’ve been hiding (something I do too well).  I have a love/hate relationship with isolation…. it’s my security blanket when things get sticky, and I fall into “recluse-mode” far too easily- but it makes me weird and jumpy and intolerant of society and the people around me.  I get too hyper-focused with myself and others (because I have nothing else to focus on because of  my removal from life’s distractions), and am all-around difficult to deal with.  In my experience, life’s distractions are necessary.  Ernest Becker (a cultural anthropologist and Thanatologist) theorized that we are all abundantly aware of our own mortality, and in order to cope with it we fill our lives with as many distractions as possible to convince ourselves we are immortal (I really love Becker… he was kindof super brilliant).  I don’t think I’m trying to escape the awareness of my mortality (because as far as my consciousness is concerned, I’ve very ok with it)… but who knows what’s really going on in our subconscious.  All I know is that if I don’t have tedious distractions and social outlets- I get creepy.  So as part of my multi-faceted plan to ward off the creepies, I’m going to write on here at least 3 or 4 times a week.  So you’ll be hearing alot from me in the future (and if you don’t, you’ll know that I’ve failed my plan).

So onto distractions…..

Sully got in his first fist-fight at school.  1 week into the school year, and he’s duking it out in the boy’s locker-room.  He has always been picked on and bullied by kids because he’s different and brainy and doesn’t give a shit about “fitting in” and is socially awkward.  These elements will serve him well in highschool and college when individuality becomes something to strive for… but in elementary school and junior high- they are bully magnets.  Apparently, he started an argument with another kid, and then the other kid decided to throw the first punch- and Sully kicked his ass so bad the other kid was crying.  I have very mixed feelings about this.  My “June Cleaver Parental Side” is frustrated that he started the argument, and also that he didn’t take the necessary steps to diffuse the situation or walk away because violence is no way to argue.  BUT then there’s the other side… the primal Mama Lion side that jumps up and screams “FUCK YEAH!!!  GIVE THAT LITTLE BRAT WHAT HE DESERVES FOR THROWING THE FIRST PUNCH!!!”.  Immature- I know.  But after watching Sully come home in tears for years after being picked on, and having to “suck it up” and tolerate the intolerance and cruelty of other kids… a part of me LOOOOOVED that he beat this kid down, and in turn showed all the other boys in the locker room that he is not a child to be fucked with.  He fought back when threatened- and he won.  Now, the responsible June Cleaver side of me gave him the appropriate lecture, and we went over all the ways that he could avoid fights in the future- but in my head, I was smiling. And when he and the other boy met with the principal, and the other boy almost got the police called on him because during this altercation he threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot Sully (idle childish threat- but one that school systems have ZERO tolerance for), and Sully walked away from the situation without any punishment… again, in my head, I was smiling.  I’m trying to keep those smiles hidden because I don’t want to give Sully the wrong message… but they’re so very there.

On another note… will someone PLEASE explain to me why vampires have such a stronghold on our society right now?  I went into Borders the other day, and there is an entire literature section dedicated to vampire stories.  Suspense novels, romance novels, and even a “Young Adult” section where vampire stories have become the new “Sweet Valley High”.  It’s creeping me the fuck out, and I don’t understand it.  Granted, I’ve never read the Twilight books (nor do I have any desire to do so), and I won’t even go near the “True Blood” tv show (which Brad secretly watches downloaded episodes on his iPod- but admits that it’s total shit, but addicting… kindof like fast food in the way that it temporarily satisfies, but has no nutritional value and fills you with guilt and bloat after ingesting).  The only worthwhile vampire story that I’ve seen since I was a kid and watched (and LOVED) “The Lost Boys” was this Swedish(?) film Brad turned me onto called “Let the Right One In”… and it is actually the sweetest love story ever that just happens to be “Vampire motivated”.  But aside from that, I would really really like for all this vampire stuff to go away for a while.  It’s just gotten out of control, and feels like 14 year old goth kids have taken over our media.

On that note, I’m off to make Sully do his homework, and work in the yard.  But I’ll leave you with a photo from my recent trip to Las Vegas for a trade show selling sunglasses for my day job (and if you’re curious as to where I work, you can see it at www.isunscape.com).  My lovely friend Jen came as my sales assistant, and we found the most beautiful restaurant in Caesar’s Palace where the walls are all aquariums.  Beautiful….

I hope your day is filled with lovelyness.