I win this weekend’s “World’s Best Wife” award…
April 28, 2008
Filed under Damnit, I'm really tired.
Tags: Blackberry Addiction, cat puke, Las Vegas, marriage, sharks
…”Straight Out the Cubicle” by Superargo (or check out their myspace page HERE)
Brad left for tour a couple days ago. There is always the “frantic scramblings” when he leaves for tour. He hates leaving home, so he procrastinates with the packing, and ends up just throwing whatever is laying around into his bag and running out the door. This is only a week long tour, so the scramblings weren’t as monumental as in the past when he’s had to go on the road for 4-6 (sometimes more) weeks. But they were scramblings, none-the-less.
About 2 hours after him and the fellas had left, I get a call from Bradly from one of the other guy’s cell phones… Brad has left his precious blackberry at home- and they’re too far gone to turn around.
Now, forgetting things comes with the scramblings. Always. But never his cell phone. He’s in love with his cell phone. If he could have a make out party with his cell phone, he would. If marriages between people and cell phones became legal, I’d be booted out of our union within seconds- and he would be running down the aisle with his Blackberry raised high above his head, screaming at the top of his lungs with happy hysterics “I DO!!!!”, and then straight to the nearest plastic surgeon to have that gonadian little bluetooth ear-piece forever sewn into his ear. Brad loves his fucking phone. He thrives on his phone. He is never without his phone. ‘Til death do they part… it’s the L.A. Way.
So for Brad to be without his phone is a traumatic ordeal. Long ago I accepted my place in the pecking order of our relationship… Blackberry first, then his computer, then music, then me. That’s ok, because the pecking order for me goes Sully first, then art/work, then him. So it’s all pretty much even. When he called and told me that he left his phone at home, and they were going to be playing in Las Vegas the next day, I checked how much it would cost to overnight-earliest-weekend-delivery-guaranteed to ship it to him… saw the price, and said “Fuck it honey, I’ll see you in Vegas tomorrow”.
So Sully and I got up at the crack of dawn and drove to Vegas so that Brad could be with his “other woman”. Three and a half hours. Yes, I am a fantastic wife. So that the day wasn’t a total loss, we decided we’d do a quick little “Vegas Fun” for Sully, and went to the Shark Reef and Mandalay Bay. Now, I’m TERRIFIED of water, and PETRIFIED to the point of hysterics when it comes to sharks (those dead black eyes literally make me unable to breathe). But for Sully, I endured. And after almost throwing up in the “shipwreck cabin” (the last part of the exhibit) when I realized that the room we were in was surrounded on all sides (including above and below us) with water and sharks, we left… Sully thrilled, and me with the knowledge that I would have nightmares for a week. This not only makes me the world’s best wife, but also the worlds best mother.
Because it was Sunday evening, the 3 and a half hours that it would have usually taken us to get back home took us 6 and half hours…. all in slow moving bumper-to-bumper traffic. Sully and I had a blast with the trip home, though. We made up stupid songs, and created a “creepiness” rating system for all the desolate gas stations and restaurants creatively named “Eat” all along the 15… how many cockroaches were in each burger, how many people were buried under the piles of tires scattered all around from eating the food served at “Eat”, or by being attacked by mutated mountains of “Eat’s” cooking grease, etc.
So yes… driving 10 hours in the desert so my husband can have his Blackberry. Facing my feverish-nightmare-inducing fears of water AND sharks at the same time, and psychologically losing the battle so my son can have some giggles. And then coming home to finish cleaning the floors and doing all the laundry that was left over from when the band was staying at the house. Yes… I think I deserve some kind of medal.
But instead of a medal this morning, I woke up to accidentally stepping in cat puke upon getting out of bed.
Yup, I win.
What happens in Vegas never really stays in Vegas….
February 17, 2008
Filed under Clothing Related nonsense
Tags: clothing, cupcakes, Kristen Ferrell, Las Vegas, Pool Trade Show, puppies
… or at least now that things like Flickr exist.
Here are a few pics from the recent “Pool Tradeshow” that I was at with the girls from All-Mighty Clothing. I never have a camera on me (or the battery is always dead when I do- which was the case during this trade show), but luckily the glorious Jen Daking from All-Mighty always has her camera ready and waiting (Jen also does makeup professionally, so if you need for some people to look pretty, check her out HERE). All these pictures were taken by her.
Here’s our little booth at the show….
a little more of the booth, Erica working and me making a stupid face….
This is Stella… she belongs to the owners of Vicious Cycle in Chicago. I’m a devout cat-person, but I fell in love with this puppy (and I love the folks at Vicious Cycle tons and tons as well- go there and give them mountains of money because they’re great)…
All-Mighty decorations are the cutest on the planet…..
I don’t really drink much, or gamble, or have sex with hookers…. so when I’m in Vegas my vice is the bakery’s that can be found in the casinos. I bought happy pink cupcake things that looked like cars and big balls of chocolate hazelnut madness. I think this is much more fun than a hooker could be, and alot cheaper than gambling…
Erica thought so too…..
this picture was mandatory (and Jen is my favorite for taking it)….
That’s all I’m going to post on here… but you can see more on my flickr page (just scroll down and there’s a link to it) or on Fantastic Jen’s flickr page.
Wonderful Danielle was sick the whole show, and I have now come down with what she had… so I have no more energy to write, and I’ve got to muster the strength to paint all day for my upcoming show in France while taking care of my rowdy son and cleaning the house because we’re going to be having guests staying with us for a few days. UUUUGGGHHHHH…
It never ends.
Vegas, Christian Building Supplies, and my death-wish for Blackberrys’….
February 15, 2008
Filed under Clothing Related nonsense, Damnit, I'm really tired.
Tags: All-Mighty Clothing, Blackberry, Las Vegas, Pool Trade Show, Tom Cruise
I got home last night from the “Pool Trade Show” in Las Vegas where I smiled as pretty as I could for the thousands of potential buyers of my clothing who would walk by our booth (while screaming in my head “oh yeah, well fuck you!!” when they kept on walking). These things are weird… especially for me, since I’m not a “sales person”. I’m not one of those people who will try to convince you that you NEED to have my clothing in your store… I just don’t know how to bullshit. Either you want my wears, or you don’t- simple as that. But the stress does build during those slow points of the show when visions of me not being able to feed my kid dance through my head.
But the show did go really well, and I got a bunch of new stores to carry my line (including this FANTASTIC one in Singapore…. yay!!). And, thanks to a beautiful tip from Steve Smith (check out his art here), we ate at the most insanely fantastic Mexican restaurant called “Lindo Michoacan”… holy shit, this place was unreal. If you’re ever in the grimy and disgusting city of lights and bile- go here to make it all better. It’s away from the horrifying tackiness of the strip, so you can get a break from the overbearing visual assault of lights and billboards covered in airbrushed tits and asses. I didn’t get a chance to take any pictures while at the show, but beautiful Jen from All-Mighty Clothing (I share a booth with them every season, and you can check out how adorable they are by clicking HERE) did, and I’m gonna nab a bunch of them off her flickr page as soon as she posts them (she takes BEAUTIFUL pictures and should be famous for it).
On to other babble…. today Brad and I were driving around running errands, and this gigantic truck drove by us. Across the side of it was plastered it’s owners company name, “Christian Building Supplies”. I thought this was pretty funny. Being a devout atheist, I wondered if I called them to purchase some supplies or to maybe do some work for me, would they turn me down? Or what if I was Jewish? Couldn’t I sue them for discrimination if they refused to take my business?… probably not. And I’d like someone to explain something to me… being from Kansas, and spending a few of my formative years in a group home with some CRAZY Southern Baptists, I’ve noticed that a large number of the Christian zealots that I had to deal with were prejudiced towards people of the Jewish faith. I just don’t get this. Jesus was Jewish.. and since it was the Jewish people who brought them their leader, it only makes sense to me that they would really really really like Jewish people, right? Or at least be a little indebted to them. Am I missing something here?
Lastly… Blackberrys. My husband is having an affair with his. A completely open and unapologetic affair, and I’m starting to have dreams of duct taping Brad to his chair and making him watch me smash his little phonebaby into a million tiny pieces (which he had better be careful, because it might just happen with my sleep walking adventures). I fucking HHHHAAAATTTTEEEE his damn phone. He’ll hop from one foot to the other begging me to go out to lunch with him so we can hang out since I work like a dog every waking moment. But when we’re at the restaurant, what does he do? He spends the majority of the time typing out emails and fucking text messages to phone-people instead of socially interacting with the wife who is sitting across from him (that same wife he begged to go and hang out with him). He’ll be driving on the highway, going 75mph, and he’ll be checking his emails (with me sitting next to him curled up in fetal position, paralyzed by fear). The god damn phone makes little buzzes and beeps whenever any call, message, text, or email comes in…. so it sits on his desk and makes annoying noises all day and night, calling out to him for more of his time and affection. I hate this thing. I want to drop it in a vat of acid. Or fry it up and make Brad eat it. Or surgically dissect it down to the final microchip, and lay it all out in a beautiful setting with candles and flowers for him to come home to (but that would require me being able to pry it from his clutches long enough to perform these amazing feats- which there is no way in hell that would ever happen). I love you, Brad- but one of these days I’m going to shove that phone right up your ass.
I am exhausted from this last week, and have come home to mountains of work… so off i go. But I’ll leave you with this…..
I LOOOOOVVVVEEEE how much Tom Cruise scares the crap out of me. One day, his mind will crack wide open and he will go on a bloody killing spree that will put the Crusades to shame. Mark my words.
