Show time!!!!!…. almost… and I’m not ready….
September 8, 2008
Filed under Art Related nonsense, Damnit, I'm really tired.
Tags: exhibits, my art is killing me, STRESS, Strychnin Gallery
… “Totally Natural” by And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
I leave tomorrow afternoon for Berlin for my solo show at the Strychnin Gallery. This show….
I love Berlin. I can’t wait until Sully is old enough that I can take him overseas with me (with the current Sully-situation, it’s not really an option). And I’m bouncing up and down in my seat to be able to run around with the folks that run Strychnin, because they make me giggle and are fantastic and I love them.
But right now… I’m out of my mind. I have web orders that need to be packed so they can go out before I leave. I still have to pack. I still have to frame a bunch of my smaller drawings. In the midst of this morning’s frantic-ness (I know ‘frantic-ness isn’t a word, but since I just typed it, it’s now created, so fucking deal with it), the phone rings. It’s Sully’s teacher. Ya know those meltdowns that I mentioned in previous postings? He was having a full scale one at school, and they can’t calm him down. Big sigh. Fucking awesome. Great timing, little kiddo. Fortunately, because I can and WILL move mountains with my “Mom Powers”, I was able to talk him down over the phone so that I didn’t have to drop everything and go in to calm him. Praise be to mountain-moving-mom-powers (and for the times when they actually WORK!!).
But now the mania has set in …. the “Mom Mania”. The gross and sticky thoughts that roll around saying “holy shit… what if he has a meltdown and I’m out of town and Brad can’t calm him as quickly as I can and what if they can’t get a hold of Brad and Sully goes on a TOTAL freakout frenzy and kills people and shoots venom lazer beams out of his eyes and spawns deamons from his mouth that eat babies and skins puppies and I’m not going to be there to stop it… etc etc etc”. Mom Mania is just as mighty as Mom Powers because they stem from the same fountain of unflinching strength. I fucking HATE mom mania. It’s the same shit that keeps me up at night silently crying because I can’t stop obsessing over all the ways that Sully could die. Totally nuts, right? If you don’t have babies- you don’t get it. Once you push that human being out of your crotch, you somehow push out a large chunck of your sanity and ability to stop irrational thoughts. I swear it’s true. Ask your mom.
But yeah… so surrounded with orders, surrounded with packing, surrounded with pieces of art still needing to be assembled, fully engulfed with Mom Mania, Brad blasting “Clutch” from our bedroom (FUCK YOU, BRAD!!! AND FUCK YOUR WARPED SENSE OF HUMOR AND THAT YOU THINK IT’S HILARIOUS TO REPEATEDLY PLAY MUSIC THAT MAKES ME WANT TO STICK KNIVES IN MY EARS)…. all this going on, and the clock is ticking down the minutes until I have to be at the airport tomorrow afternoon…. and I count my pieces for the show……………
95. 95 pieces. Huh? Let’s count again. Fuck… still 95. I recheck the email that tells me how many pieces they already have there. I recount what I have and add that to the pieces they have…. only 95.
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this a joke? How did I do this? How did I screw this up? Have I lost my shit so completely and fully that I’m no longer even able to count to 100? Really? Am I that far gone? Dear Life… I don’t think the jokes you play on me for your own amusement are funny. You are sick and cruel, and tempt me to dive off a bridge to separate you from me.
I have 24 hours until we leave for the airport. 24 hours to package and ship orders, pack my things, finish framing and packaging my pieces so they won’t get destroyed by the airport luggage handlers, tie up loose ends because I’ll be gone until Sunday and I know I’m going to come home to a wrecked house…. and now I have to somehow pull 5 pieces of art out of my ass. In 24 hours. If it wasn’t happening to me, I’d be laughing so fucking hard right now. But since it is happening to me, I’ll punch anyone that I do see laughing.
Who wants to start the pool to see if I can actually accomplish this?….
To all you Europeans reading this…. hope to see ya at the show!!!… that is if I don’t have a full blown annyerism within the next 24 hours.
I turned 108 overnight… again….
April 10, 2008
Filed under Damnit, I'm really tired.
Tags: Back problems, my art is killing me
I think I figured out how to put music in my postings on here… I think… maybe……..
If I did this right, there should be a little box up there that you just click on the “play” button, and it will play the same music that I’m listening to while I’m manically typing and working and doing whatever it is I’m doing right now. I probably fucked it up, and it won’t work- but I tried. If it in fact DOES work, the song that’s playing is “The Skin of my Yellow Country Teeth” by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.
I threw my back out. Again. I caught it from Brad. He was out with “Alkaline Trio” the past few days as a guitar tech, and screwed his back up from hauling gear (15 years of pushing amps will do that to you). He ALWAYS comes home from any tour with a fucked up back, so this isn’t new.
But since he was gone for a couple days, and since the production of my new line of clothing has been pushed back a couple weeks due to my shirt sewers being super slow- I figured this was the perfect time to powerhouse out a bunch of paintings for a huge show I have coming up in London, and not be distracted. So the past 3 days have been spend with me bent over my drawing table for hours and hours at a time- and since my lower back isn’t used to that (and I have the cheapest Office-Depot-piece-of-shit-super-bargain office chair), it gave out. I woke up this morning and wasn’t able to turn my body properly without it feeling like I had just been beat down. And then I made the mistake of continuing to paint for another 6 hours straight (only getting up to get another cup of coffee)- and now I can barely walk around. I’ve been doing my yoga, and trying to stay stretched out because I know that it’s bad to sit the way I do for that long at a time…. this is how I sit when I’m painting, working on the computer, reading… or really doing anything at all:
(please excuse the tardo face I’m making… that was for Brad’s benefit). So now my back is totally fucked, and if it follows the same pattern as the last time I threw it out, I’ll be walking with a cane within the next couple days until it fixes itself. The last time this happened was a couple years ago, and under the same circumstances (me in fetal position painting for hours straight everyday). Brad and I decided to play “Dr. Strangelove” when this happened last time (my face is made of rubber and can contort itself to the most gruesome states):
So that’s where I’m at tonight… totally screwed. But I can’t take a break from the painting because the “Leftover Crack” boys are going to be at our house in a couple weeks because they’re doing a little West Coast tour. And Sturgeon (the singer) and I are joining forces for an amazing little project to go along with my London gallery show, and I need to have a ton more work done in order for him to do his part of the project (for now it’s a secret project… so don’t ask me about it, because I won’t tell!! ha!!… but it’s going to RULE!!!!!!!). So further into lower-back destruction I go.
But now I leave you with the “Degrassi Junior High” Daily quote:
“If you can’t eat paper, then maybe you’re not ready for acid.”
(i’m going to start a “Degrassi Junior High” cult. I know my younger brother and sister-in-law will happily join. We could live in a compound in Canada. It will be beautiful).
