(I will preface this post by saying that there will be lots of grand generalizations and stereotyping in this. I know not ALL boys are selfish, ego-maniacal, social retards… just the ones that I’ve come in contact with. My whole life. All of them. So only take offense if you’re guilty of any of the mentioned behaviors- and if you are offended, don’t yell at me. Take a look at yourself and CHANGE… dick)
I’m not sure why it is so hard for fellas to get a grasp on basic common sense. And why it’s even harder for them to follow the “Golden Rule” in relationships. They get a little comfortable with their lady- and POOF! They guy that we fell in love with disappears, and we’re left with a grumpy foot-stomping asshole who can’t pick up after themselves. Why the fuck is this? Don’t they know that the more you like someone, the better you should treat them? And if you actually fall in LOVE with someone, you should treat them the BEST… not worse. It’s insulting, and infuriating, and my patience with it is gone. So to any boy who is reading this, take notes, and then treat that special lady like she actually IS SPECIAL- not just some chick who happens to be around all the time.
- If you have a hard working lady who rarely ever gets to leave the house (but you get to go out and run around every fucking night), and you have a rare situation where the BOTH of you get to go out and run around- make it something SHE wants to do. She works her ass off every day, and doesn’t want to spend her free time doing your douchy guy bullshit. It’s not fun for her- so it won’t be worth her time.
- If you mention doing your douchy guy bullshit on your free night out, and your tired and hardworking lady isn’t totally excited about it… don’t yell at her. Don’t make her feel bad, and guilt her about not wanting to take part in your douchy guy activities. These angry and infantile behaviors won’t make her suddenly want to do your douchy guy bullshit. It will make her hate your douchy guy bullshit that much more because it has caused arguments, AND it will make her not want to hang out with you AT ALL because you’re a fucking asshole. Why not take a stab at being romantic and thinking of something creative that SHE likes (ya know, the way you used to when you were trying to show her that she was important to you).
- If you’re lucky enough have a super hardworking lady in your life, show her you appreciate her hard work. How about picking up all your stupid dirty laundry and piles of crap that’s littered all over the house. Or cleaning the sheets. Or wiping down the counters in the bathroom. Or cleaning the floors that you spill coffee on EVERY FUCKING DAY. Or surprising her by making her dinner ONCE in the 7 years you’ve been together. Those are some starter ideas. She works hard, and puts up with you. She deserves a damn medal… but is awesome enough to accept only a little help around the house.
- If you say you’re going to do something…. do it. I don’t care what it is. Just do it. It’s far more insulting to promise to do something and then not do it, than it is to never offer in the first place. It shows us you can’t be relied upon to help us, and that you’re full of shit. Don’t be that “full of shit guy”. No one likes that guy. He sucks.
- If you say you’re going to do something, and then start to do it, DO NOT get whiny, and bitch and moan the whole time you’re doing it. You agreed to do it- so grow a set and get it done without incident. And DO NOT act like we owe you the world because you’re actually doing the mundane and simple task that you agreed to do. If you don’t want to do the task- then don’t agree to it in the first place. We would much rather do the task ourselves than listen to you whine like a little sister. Your whining shows lack of character, and it’s fucking annoying.
- Things like birthdays, mother’s day, valentine’s day, etc., ARE important. Acknowledge this. Always. It doesn’t matter if your lady says that she doesn’t like holidays, or doesn’t want to celebrate birthdays… do something anyways. Maybe if you make these days fun for her, then she will start to like them. But ignoring them, or FORGETTING THEM, or screwing them up with your own selfish grumpiness only makes her feel unimportant and hate them more. Don’t tell her you’re taking her to a metal show on Mother’s day when you KNOW she doesn’t like going to metal shows, and THEN get mad at her because she doesn’t want to go to the metal show. THIS IS NOT THE WAY FOR A GOOD HUSBAND TO BEHAVE. She just might spit in your coffee on Father’s Day. And you would fully deserve it.
- If the cat pukes, don’t leave it there until she comes home to clean it up.
- If you can’t remember the last time you made her feel pretty, then you’re a total shit stain. Note- I didn’t say “tell her she’s pretty”… I said “made her feel pretty”. There is a MASSIVE difference between these 2 things. And if I have to explain them to you, you have no right being in a relationship, and you’d better figure it out fast- or else someone else might “make her feel pretty” and then you’re shit-outta-luck and alone.
- Relationships are all about compromise and sacrifice for the good of the couple/family. If you can’t handle this- you’re a dick to have sucked someone into a relationship with you in the first place. It isn’t YOUR relationship, or YOUR sex life, or YOUR money, or YOUR house, or YOUR free time- it belongs to both of you equally. So behave accordingly. You have to look at the good of the group- not just what YOU WANT. This applies to every aspect of the relationship from chores to sex. So get over yourself. (and she HAS made sacrifices for you- but you might not know it because she doesn’t make a huge production about it)
- The Golden Rule applies most to the people you care about. If you want to come home to someone who will greet you with loving, understanding and open arms- you have to be that person as well. If you want your lady to be fun, playful, spontaneous and filled with giggles, you have to be that person too. It’s hard for us to be loving and filled with giggles if you’re a grumpy stompy demanding stick-in-the-mud. It’s ok to be grumpy and have bad days- but allow us those kind of days too. And if you want us to help you pull out of a bad day- do the same for us.
This is all so simple and basic that it blows my mind I even have to state it. But there it is. Stated in black and white. There really should be no questions.