My clumsiness has become a running joke between me and my loved ones (mostly my loves ones, because I really don’t think it’s that funny). I am covered face to feet with scars from my tumbles, have permanent damage to my brain from these spills, almost killed myself 3 times with incidents involving my long hair getting caught in things, and now have a cane on hand for when my knees give out due to past clumsy antics. Yes, I’m a mess.
With that being said, here’s today’s story. Sully got a Wii from Brad’s parents for x-mas. I decided that I would hook it up today. So I went into his room to get it, and as I’m walking out I slipped on the lid to his laundry basket and did a full Steve Martin half-flip with a twist, and landed square on my bad knee. For about 5 seconds, I laid there motionless, thinking I was going to projectile vomit from the pain… but once the nausea had passed, the screaming of obscenities ensued (along with rolling around on the floor and punching all the walls that were near me). Sully comes running into his room, a look of sincere and frantic concern on his face. And as I’m rolling around on the ground, clutching my already swelling knee and screaming at the top of my lungs in agony… he says to me, “Is the Wii ok?”
Yes…. the fucking Wii was ok.
This is where I stand in my son’s priority scale. As soon as he said it, he realized those were the wrong words to come out of his mouth at that moment. And I answered him with “Walk away. Now.”
And he quickly did.
Earlier today, I was reading all my news and what-not, and there was a headline that made me laugh out loud. Not in a “happy happy giggle-fest” kindof way… but in a “holy shit, people are really really stupid” kindof way. It was this article here: “Bristol Palin goes on record saying “Teen Pregnancy Not Ideal”
Really?????? First of all, I am soooooooooo sick of the Palins’. I’m more sick of Sarah and her family than I have ever been of anyone ever in my entire life. She’s like that guy from highschool that I went out with once because I couldn’t bring myself to turn him down, and then he kept calling for weeks and giving gifts and was outside all my classes and even after I got a boyfriend would still leave notes in my locker etc etc etc. She has been rejected by our country- but she’s still calling obsessively saying “No please really… just give me a chance… I’m really the one you want… PLEASE…. I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH…. JUST LET ME PROVE IT TO YOU…. I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY…. PPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAASSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!”. The patheticness of it is uncomfortable and a gigantic turn-off.
But back to her stupid daughter. What the hell was she expecting? Having a baby isn’t like getting a kitten. It’s a little helpless human being. And it’s HARD WORK. There isn’t a teenager on this planet who should have to take on the struggles of being a parent. That is why there is abortion and adoption and the pill and condoms and spermicidal gel and hormonal patches etc etc etc. These are all things that should be HEAVILY emphasized in school and in the home and in church and everywhere else so that teenagers don’t have to grow up so damn fast, and so that these babies don’t have to be raised by parents who are NOT NOT NOT emotionally and mentally mature enough to take on the massive challenge of raising a child. I feel really sorry for Bristol Palin, and for her boyfriend who had no idea the trouble he was getting himself into when he decided to get it on with S.P.’s daughter. To all the parents reading this- go give your kid an industrial sized carton of condoms right now. For all the teenagers reading this- go buy yourself an industrial sized carton of condoms right now- and use them EVERY TIME. I don’t care if it “kills the mood”. A screaming baby will “kill the mood” for the next 18 years. Chew on that.
Back to the Wii. I got a “Wii Fit” for x-mas. It is rude. It mocks me because of my crappy balance. It calls me a “couch potato” and is condescending when letting me know that I didn’t fare well on one of it’s stupid challenges. But there is no way for me to tell it to fuck off. I’d like to start a petition to make this product a little more interactive, and allow me to slap the shit out of my “personal trainer” when she gets a little too catty. Is there anyone else out there who would like to send letters to nintendo with me? Because I really don’t think this kind of attitude is necessary in my quest to better myself.
I will leave you tonight with a photo of me and my mother. She thought we were taking a nice picture, and she smiled really pretty. She should have known that I don’t ever take “nice pictures”, and I didn’t smile pretty. Sorry, Mom, for ruining- yet another- nice picture.