I’d like a show of hands of everyone who needs a nap…..

5 Feb

Since this is my first posting on this little thingy, I’d like to state right off the bat that I’m a cusser. I use a lot of bad words. I use a lot of non-bad words and turn them into bad words. I’m very creative with this, and sometimes downright icky.

If this is a problem, please stop reading now and go on to a more “Full-House” “Cosby-esque” blog. I won’t be offended. I promise.

Today was a writhing pile of bile that just won’t stop oozing all over my shoes. And my husband, Brad, has chosen to play 1980’s German industrial music nonstop as I’m trying to decompress. Maybe he thinks this is funny. Actually- I KNOW he thinks this is funny. On any other day- it probably would be. But not today. Today, it is a parasite infested cherry on top of a rotted parasite infested moldy cupcake of a day.

I spent my day in a hamster ball. Running frantically from one tragically important errand to another- but all of this running in L.A. standstill traffic. Hence the hamster ball. Running running running… but only to find that you’ve been stuck under the sofa for the past hour, and have gotten nowhere.

Is any of this making sense? I can’t tell. Coherency is lost right now… all I can hear in my head is 1980’s German industrial music. Damn you, Brad.

I have a trade show in Las Vegas in 1 week. I found out today that only half of my samples are going to be made. And there are still about 5 different shirts that I need to pick up. This is bad. This is really really bad. Because I still need to get them screenprinted and embroidered. I still need to make the catalog- but how do I do this if half my line won’t even be at the show? The sales I make at these shows are what fund my business and all my living expenses for the next 6 months until the next show. How am I going to make this work? I have no fucking idea. Like I said… this is bad.

And Brad just turned to me and told me that for the next month, all he is going to listen to is 1980’s German industrial music. FFFFUUUUCCCKKKK!!! I must have participated in a lot of raping and pillaging in a previous life to have earned this.

Back to work related traumas… so the new line is going to be at the trade show incomplete. And in the midst of this, I’m supposed to be creative because on March 4th I leave to go to Cannes, France to participate in this:

Fusion Art Festival in Cannes, France

This is a HUGE opportunity, and I am sincerely humbled and honored to be able to be a part of it… but I still have to finish the pieces for it, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. And how am I supposed to be creative when I have a gun pointed at the base of my skull from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep? It doesn’t really set a “creative mood”.

And speaking of “the moment I go to sleep”… I’ve started sleepwalking again. I did this when I was younger- but it’s been literally decades since this bizarre habit has reared it’s ugly head. I was able to go through my first marriage, the expulsion of that first husband, the stresses of single motherhood, moving multiple times, and all other grown-up icky situations without this starting up again… but now- when I need to sleep the most- I wander through the house in the middle of the night in a zombie-like state. Brad found me last night curled up in the living room. He’s caught me multiple times coming back into the bedroom after wandering around for who-knows how long. I want to set up spy-cams in the house so I can see what I do during these nocturnal journeys. It’s got to be wonderfully bizarre to witness. But I wake up every morning feeling less-than-rested.

Right now, Brad’s trying to convince me of the genius behind the 1980’s German industrial music that he’s still listening to. I’m not fucking buying it. And even if it is genius- right now, all it’s doing is making me want to pour bleach in his eyes. I love you, darling Brad- but the joke is going too far… and you’re leaving me little choice but to retaliate in violence.

To sum up my day… I’m tired. Achingly tired to my very core. The kind of tired where all I want to do is cry… but I’m too tired to even do that. But my brilliant friend, Jen (she is one of the girls who runs http://www.All-mighty.net… go there and gaze at their splendor) told me that because I get alot of people reading my “myspace” blogs, that I should have an “official” one. And since I needed to turn my brain off and lay on the bed and do “nothing”- but I have no idea how to do “nothing”… so I started this thingy. This is me and Jen at the last trade show in Vegas. She was trying to keep my hair from taking me down (it’s sometimes a little stubborn and difficult to tame):

me and jen

That’s all I have for the evening. We’ll see if I can continue to figure out how this blog site works, and I will keep updates on my midnight wanderings for all to enjoy.

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12 Responses to “I’d like a show of hands of everyone who needs a nap…..”

  1. amyjeen February 5, 2008 at 9:35 am #

    you are a professional talker now!

    maybe you can retaliate against brad with debbie gibson? nooo, that would be equally painfull for you perhaps.

    and how interesting you began sleepwalking again, i didn’t know that could happen. maybe it came back with the big head bang !?

  2. Cassie (Not Looking For You) February 5, 2008 at 9:37 am #

    Sounds like you need a time machine to send you somewhere nice and quiet for a while so you can relax!

    Hooray for great opportunities though. I know you will do a fab job in Vegas and in Cannes.

  3. Kristen Ferrell February 5, 2008 at 9:48 am #

    i hope things go well in vegas. it terrifies me when things don’t go as planned (i’m really really OCD).

    i’ve tried combating brad’s auditory assaults with ones of my own- but it just doesn’t work on him. he’s made of Teflon, and it all bounces and slides right off him. sooooo frustrating!!

    it’s been a while since the big head bang… would the sleepwalking pop up now because of that? brad thinks it’s because i’m sooooo stressed out. i just hope i don’t wander out of the house and into the streets or the neighbors’ backyards or something. uuuggghhh!!!

  4. Michelle February 5, 2008 at 11:11 am #

    yay! Love your new web based writting place (I agree that blog is a bad word. I feel kinda lame and dirty everytime I tell people i have one.) And good luck on your vegas show, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you honey.

  5. Lex February 5, 2008 at 11:13 am #

    Awww, I don’t even have a WordPress pic yet. All of my stuff is on Blogger, and I can’t even keep up writing there. The link to my “Soap Opera Blog” (about two anti-Muslim sites currently in a war: http://govvs.blogspot.com/) is on my main blog though, which should link if you click on my name. I’m sure that either my Soap Opera Blog partner, The Sphinx, could give you some tips, or ChenZhen, whose site you should stop by. In our spare time, all three of us mock other blogs and get the giggles over it. Big time. Welcome to blog world, and be wary of people who call it “the blogosphere”. Have fun!

    (in case that didn’t work, it is http://chenzhen.wordpress.com/ and
    http://realmofthesphinx.wordpress.com/ and both have great posts up at the moment, Chen on Obama and Sphinx has “Is America Secular?”. Check them out, leave a calling card and say hey!)

  6. Haley February 5, 2008 at 11:19 am #

    Perhaps you should make up a catalog of all your things for the trade show and promise poeople that they will be mailed to them when they are done. If that’s at all possible. I don’t really know how trade shows work. I am also extremely OCD and freak out like a kitten with catnip when things aren’t perfect. But I think if your things still aren’t done by that time, having them in a catalog, and mailing them is the next best thing. I think once that is off your shoulders, you’ll be a lot less stressed and maybe be able to create your new pieces. And possibly stop sleepwalking. Although I’m no psyciatrist. Thank God. Good luck with that.

  7. Theresa February 5, 2008 at 1:01 pm #

    kristen – cannes france is beautiful. go to the beach. walk around the city. i almost loved that place more than paris, and i know youll love it too!!!

  8. Lemissa February 5, 2008 at 2:55 pm #

    ummmm this is a total off subject note, but I read in a book about a girl with long-ass dreads who wants to weave them up on top of her head like topiary only into a birdcage with a bird in it and it made me think of you.

  9. whitney February 5, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    ugh, why couldnt your trade show be on the same week i will be in vegas. dammit.

    sleep walking is terrifying… i use to do it a lot. i woke up one morning and found myself sleeping on a bare mattress, and found all my blankets and sheets and pillows, neatly folded on the floor, from biggest to smallest, with the pillow resting on top like a cherry on this comforter cupcake.
    pretty weird shit.

  10. HarleeQ February 6, 2008 at 1:05 pm #

    Kristen:

    First and foremost congratulations. Your Vegas and Cannes shows will be a hit. You will pull everything together the best you can and it will work out. Worrying is probably more than half the reason it will work for you.
    Second tell Brad sure, go head and bother the crap out of you, but you cant control what you do while you sleep walk and if he wakes up with one less leg (you can choose which of the three you wish) then it’s not your fault, it’s his. maybe he will understand that.
    Don’t worry puppy.

  11. Kristen Ferrell February 6, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    hahahahahahaha!!!! you’re right! even if i’m wide awake when i cut off one of his legs, i could always state in court that i was asleep (because that’s something i’d like to be awake to see!!).

    if brad is reading this… i’m only kidding honey… kindof…. ok, not really at all.

    😉

  12. Candice February 7, 2008 at 12:41 am #

    no question, you are going to rock that trade show! I have a feeling you could accomplish this even in your sleep.

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