Vegas, Christian Building Supplies, and my death-wish for Blackberrys’….

15 Feb

I got home last night from the “Pool Trade Show” in Las Vegas where I smiled as pretty as I could for the thousands of potential buyers of my clothing who would walk by our booth (while screaming in my head “oh yeah, well fuck you!!” when they kept on walking). These things are weird… especially for me, since I’m not a “sales person”. I’m not one of those people who will try to convince you that you NEED to have my clothing in your store… I just don’t know how to bullshit. Either you want my wears, or you don’t- simple as that. But the stress does build during those slow points of the show when visions of me not being able to feed my kid dance through my head.

But the show did go really well, and I got a bunch of new stores to carry my line (including this FANTASTIC one in Singapore…. yay!!). And, thanks to a beautiful tip from Steve Smith (check out his art here), we ate at the most insanely fantastic Mexican restaurant called “Lindo Michoacan”… holy shit, this place was unreal. If you’re ever in the grimy and disgusting city of lights and bile- go here to make it all better. It’s away from the horrifying tackiness of the strip, so you can get a break from the overbearing visual assault of lights and billboards covered in airbrushed tits and asses. I didn’t get a chance to take any pictures while at the show, but beautiful Jen from All-Mighty Clothing (I share a booth with them every season, and you can check out how adorable they are by clicking HERE) did, and I’m gonna nab a bunch of them off her flickr page as soon as she posts them (she takes BEAUTIFUL pictures and should be famous for it).

On to other babble…. today Brad and I were driving around running errands, and this gigantic truck drove by us. Across the side of it was plastered it’s owners company name, “Christian Building Supplies”. I thought this was pretty funny. Being a devout atheist, I wondered if I called them to purchase some supplies or to maybe do some work for me, would they turn me down? Or what if I was Jewish? Couldn’t I sue them for discrimination if they refused to take my business?… probably not. And I’d like someone to explain something to me… being from Kansas, and spending a few of my formative years in a group home with some CRAZY Southern Baptists, I’ve noticed that a large number of the Christian zealots that I had to deal with were prejudiced towards people of the Jewish faith. I just don’t get this. Jesus was Jewish.. and since it was the Jewish people who brought them their leader, it only makes sense to me that they would really really really like Jewish people, right? Or at least be a little indebted to them. Am I missing something here?

Lastly… Blackberrys. My husband is having an affair with his. A completely open and unapologetic affair, and I’m starting to have dreams of duct taping Brad to his chair and making him watch me smash his little phonebaby into a million tiny pieces (which he had better be careful, because it might just happen with my sleep walking adventures). I fucking HHHHAAAATTTTEEEE his damn phone. He’ll hop from one foot to the other begging me to go out to lunch with him so we can hang out since I work like a dog every waking moment. But when we’re at the restaurant, what does he do? He spends the majority of the time typing out emails and fucking text messages to phone-people instead of socially interacting with the wife who is sitting across from him (that same wife he begged to go and hang out with him). He’ll be driving on the highway, going 75mph, and he’ll be checking his emails (with me sitting next to him curled up in fetal position, paralyzed by fear). The god damn phone makes little buzzes and beeps whenever any call, message, text, or email comes in…. so it sits on his desk and makes annoying noises all day and night, calling out to him for more of his time and affection. I hate this thing. I want to drop it in a vat of acid. Or fry it up and make Brad eat it. Or surgically dissect it down to the final microchip, and lay it all out in a beautiful setting with candles and flowers for him to come home to (but that would require me being able to pry it from his clutches long enough to perform these amazing feats- which there is no way in hell that would ever happen). I love you, Brad- but one of these days I’m going to shove that phone right up your ass.

I am exhausted from this last week, and have come home to mountains of work… so off i go. But I’ll leave you with this…..

I LOOOOOVVVVEEEE how much Tom Cruise scares the crap out of me. One day, his mind will crack wide open and he will go on a bloody killing spree that will put the Crusades to shame. Mark my words.


18 Responses to “Vegas, Christian Building Supplies, and my death-wish for Blackberrys’….”

  1. orionsreason February 15, 2008 at 9:39 pm #

    I feel your pain when it comes to your husbands affair with the Blackberry…I too am the wife turning her cheek to my husbands indecent relationship with that evil device. I hate it, and he does the SAME thing to me, I don’t believe him anymore when he asks to spend time with me. Wow, I’m getting angry just thinking about it, lol. Yeah I have to say I’ve been paralyzed with fear in the passenger seat flying down I-95 myself, not fun.

    HAHAHA!! wtf is Tom doing? The motorcycle? weirdest freaking dance ever.

  2. ROCKO February 15, 2008 at 10:27 pm #

    I hate the way everyone kisses Tom Cruises ass, it is so blatant and ludicrous!
    He looks the same as he did now than when he did risky business.
    For the life of me I can’t figure out why he is a top biller.
    Everyone wants to be his friend, because maybe they’ll get to be in a movie with him…..ugh who would want to except for the money.
    He’d feel very lonely if he ever comes to reality of why people act like his friend.

    ON to blackberry’s and cellphones, you know that blackberry had a blackout the other day where everyone on their network couldn’t get service from some reason…it was just dead. It was nice to hear that only because people do not realize what a slave they are to something ringing.
    That was the beauty of just having a telelphone at home in the old days,
    people would have each others divided attention when the phone wasn’t around.
    It’s funny even my girlfriend has to answer when were at dinner and her parent’s call and I’m like just call them back after.
    I had friend who did the same thing at dinners we went out for and it used to bug the f-ck out of me and finally I stopped hanging around her. She often says when I see her why we never go out anymore.
    The way I look at it is, if they don’t think I’m important enough to give me their undivided attention for JUST a blinkin hour, I must not be important enough to them in the first damn place.

    I admit there are times I have had to respond to texts or phone only because of owning the type of business I have but other than that I don’t answer if I’m at a meal with someone.
    It’s just plain rude.

    Christianity in a nutshell is for lazy thinkers in my book, plain and simple.
    An odd thing ahppened today….I happend to turn the TV channels today on some off public accces channel and was mortified when I came across a group of KIDS 5- 12 YRS.
    on a stage singing to other children in the audience a melody of “yes lord….oh yes lord” over and over in a loud voice then in a soft voice…
    it was crazy.. I watched it in amazement, while wanting to reach out to the these poor kids, and then had to turn it.
    wHAT CAME NEXT freaked me out….
    I had turned off the TV and began doing things around the house when IN MY HEAD the melody of that DAMN song started
    it’s way out my mouth HOLY FUCK!!! I ran for my radio and turned classical music on to get out, god damit I said over and over and over…
    that was brainwashing at it finest, I’m never doing that again…

  3. jamie February 15, 2008 at 11:22 pm #

    they are called crackberries for a reason, for sure…

  4. Kristen Ferrell February 15, 2008 at 11:48 pm #

    crackberries…. hahahahaha!! that’s awesome- and the truest description i’ve ever heard!! his devotion to that thing frightens me.

    and i totally understand why people look to religion. it makes them feel safe, not alone in the universe, and it answers life’s unanswered questions for them. fine. i get that. and if something out there can make someone feel safe- then more power to them. but it’s the propaganda that goes along with it that i’m fully opposed to. and the judgement. and the hate. and the pois holier-than-thou attitude that i run into so often. all of that has NOTHING to do with anything jesus ever said or did. and not all christians hold these ways of thinking at all… i have many friends who are devout christians, and they are open, loving, wonderful people who are also opposed to all the things i stated above. but there are just too many of the “bad christians” out there for me to not have a knee-jerk wretch come out of my mouth whenever i think about religion.

    plus, on a logical note (and how my son put it so eloquently at age 6)… bad things don’t happen to people now because of a talking snake in an apple tree. that’s just stupid.

    all any of us have to do is follow the “golden rule”. period. cut through all the bullshit, and the fairy tales, and imaginary friends, and ancient books telling us how to live that were written thousands of years ago that don’t pertain to ANYTHING going on now… it’s all about the golden rule. if everyone made it that simple, i think we’d all be spared a whole lot of grief and bullshit.

  5. Ash February 16, 2008 at 7:23 am #

    In my town, there is this black van, with GIANT letters across the side that say, “JESUS HOUSE”. I always see it early in the morning. And it is a nice new van too. And whenever I see it, the rest of the day, I think WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT!??!?!? Does Jesus live in that nice van? I totally don’t get it, and more annoying, I am not going to find out. That would involve asking someone, and then they would come knocking at my door, or something.

    And that Tom Cruise, is scary. Did you see that big-ass fake award he got, from that big-ass fake religion? It was sooo giant, almost as big as a David Allen Coe belt buckle, but much less cool. Tom should wear that thing as a belt buckle. I can’t say much about his dancing, because I kinda dance like that when I am wasted and listening to Kenny Rogers albums!

  6. Brandi February 16, 2008 at 7:50 am #

    Oh, don’t worry about those Christians. I’m sure they will gladly put their predudice aside in an effort to convert you. After all, god wants ALL the souls, my friend.
    Also, Valentines day…eric did not make me the spaghetti dinner as promised and after I made it he still continue to stare at his friends computer, (which was in crisis) while I did the fucking dishes too! I was super pissed until I his friend, who is “our” friend, but on Valentines Day when Eric is snubbing me in his favor he can just be Eric’s friend…finally left and within a half hour they had sent a minimum of six texts back and forth to eachother!
    I try to remind myself during these times that atleast he has ‘a life’, not like my first husband who smothered me day and night until I ran from the marriage screaming. πŸ˜€

  7. Brandi February 16, 2008 at 7:52 am #

    prejudice-I’m so unprejudiced I can’t even spell the word correctly. I’m not even sure I’m pronouncing it the right way. ;-P

  8. Arafel February 16, 2008 at 8:51 am #

    OMG, thanks for nightmares I’ll now be having after watching Tom Cruise

  9. Kristen Ferrell February 16, 2008 at 11:53 am #

    “Jesus House” on the side of a van? that’s just weird. i wouldn’t know what to think of that… i’d probably just laugh alot if i saw it. but i definitely wouldn’t suggest going and asking them about it… because those people are obviously bonkers.

    and they don’t get to have my soul. it took me years to steal it back from the christians- i’m not giving it up again without a fight.

    i had to spend valentines day in vegas at the trade show. every year the Magic/Pool trade show happens during valentines day, and it’s sooooo lame! i haven’t had a decent valentines day in years because of it. it’s just rude.

    i’m sorry to anyone that i traumatized with the tom cruise video. i have oodles of them saved in my youtube account. it’s fun to watch his mental decline.

  10. whitney February 16, 2008 at 11:04 pm #

    i hate cell phones… and texting. it takes too long and its boring. and for some reason people LOVE to carry on texting conversations. i dont get it. calling and talking is so much faster and easier and convenient.
    basically, cell phones almost give you a reason NOT to hang out with friends anymore. theyre the anti-social device.

    i hate technology.
    a;kjdasldkjasdlfasidjoewijo !!!!!!!!!!

  11. Sunny February 17, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    ok, I didn’t read the blog, just watched the video, and I can’t help but think that this is what happens to a person when they’re told how great they are for 25 years by everyone them meet. They start to believe that shit and they lose the filters that the rest of us have that make us appear sane. Because I don’t think he’s truly *much* crazier than the rest of us (ok maybe a little), it’s just that unlike the rest of us – who are occasionally called out when we show our crazy – he’s always just rubbing his crazy in your face cuz no one tells him not to.

  12. Kristen Ferrell February 17, 2008 at 10:55 am #

    i think that happens to alot of “famous” people… they surround themselves with “yes men” and then there’s noone left to keep them in check, or tell them “ok, you’re crazy is showing and you need to knock it off a bit”. look at what happened to micheal jackson! he turned into a creepy monster-person, and lost his nose in the process. i wonder if mr. cruise is even aware of how much he has totally frightened the general public. i’d love to have a long conversation with nicole kidman to see what she thinks of his public koo-koo antics.
    we all know to keep our crazy at home behind locked doors. i would say it’s too bad tom has let his run free… but it’s really entertaining to watch the madness.

  13. Jennifer February 17, 2008 at 11:06 am #

    Pictures are up!

  14. Kristen Ferrell February 17, 2008 at 11:19 am #

    Jen… you make everything beautiful and filled with magic and sparkly things. I heart you BIG TIME!!!!

  15. Amy M February 18, 2008 at 7:05 am #

    Honey, did it occur to you that it could have been Christian Building Supplies the same as it could have been Ferrell Building Supplies as in my name is John Christian. πŸ˜‰

  16. Kristen Ferrell February 18, 2008 at 10:28 am #

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! that never occurred to me!! but i really hope that it’s actually for christians only, because that’s odd- but i’m sure you’re probably right.

    i wonder how often they get calls from idiots like me who got it mixed up asking if they get special rates for certain denominations?

  17. Amy M February 20, 2008 at 6:35 am #

    It only occurred to me because I went to school with some “Christians” who were anything but..

  18. Kristen Ferrell February 20, 2008 at 9:35 am #

    i just assumed that it was religious-based because Orange County is REALLY conservative (which surprised me quite a bit). i see more religious and right-wing bumper stickers out here than i ever saw in Kansas (and since everyone out here exists primarily in their cars, that’s how you learn to “read” people… totally bizarre, right?). now i’m curious. i might just look that company up, and call and ask them. ha!!

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