Fall down go boom… 2 years later….

25 Feb

A couple years ago, I smashed my head in. The “how’d ya do it?” is fully retarded, so I won’t go into it. But it resulted in many stitches, a concussion, nerve damage, and a lovely scar that my husband likes to tell me is “barely noticeable”. When it happened, I was the entertainment of everyone in the emergency room that night, because the gaping hole in my head was huge and severe enough to where you could see my skull, clear as day, shining brightly through all the blood. They kept running in and out of my little “stitch-me-up” cubby with new nurses and interns, all exclaiming upon seeing me “Well hell- you really CAN see her skull!… How are you still conscious, miss?” (noting that I was also completely covered in blood and had just come out of convulsions that lasted the entirety of my trip to the hospital). Here’s a little pic taken a couple days after the big boom to illustrate the silly mess that was made of my head…


Fun, right?

Well… 2 years later, I’m still having horrible headaches all the time, eye twitches, dizziness, foggy-headedness, stuttering, and no feeling at all on my forehead when I touch it (which is pretty creepy to touch a part of your body, and you can’t feel yourself touching it…ick). All the concussion side effects just never went away.

Due to the fact that my husband has been pacing and stating over and over again since it happened in more increasing frequency with each week “I think you have a tumor… or at least something is really wrong… no, it’s probably a tumor… fuck, what am I going to do if you have a tumor? Fuck… I’m going to go google ‘tumors’… fuck, there’s something really wrong with you…..”, I made an appointment with a doctor.

Low and behold… she seems to agree (though she didn’t agree with Brad about the scar being “barely noticeable”… she spotted it right away). She says that side effects usually only last a few weeks (maybe a couple months) after the head injury. Not years. So she has ordered MRI’s and took gallons of blood and all kinds of crap. This is REALLY not what I need right now. I’m kindof fucking busy. I don’t have time for some stupid stumbling fiasco from a couple years ago to jump up and bite me in the ass right now. It’s making me grumpy. I would have rather not known… but Brad kept throwing the “Sully Card” at me by saying “you’ve can’t afford to not take care of it… for Sully’s sake“. Oooooh the low blow of parental guilt!! God damn you, Brad.

But I’ve heard from oodles of other folks who’ve had head injuries that they never felt quite the same afterwards. I dunno. All I do know now is that I have to go to a bunch of specialists and have oodles of testing done and get poked and prodded, and hope that they tell me that I’m just going to have eye twitchings and migraines for the rest of my life. Stupid stupid stupid.

Fuck you, my brain.

I’d like to add that all I’ve been listening to these past couple days is Harry Belafonte, and I feel no shame.


22 Responses to “Fall down go boom… 2 years later….”

  1. Caitlin February 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm #

    Aw, I’m sorry. That totally sucks.

  2. Kristen Ferrell February 26, 2008 at 2:48 pm #

    it’s all totally frustrating.
    but at least i’ve got mr. belafonte to guide me through it with his feisty tunes.

  3. butcherbaby February 26, 2008 at 3:53 pm #

    awww, your hubby really adores you, despite his attempts to make you crazy through musical torture.

    i hear that head injuries are a pretty common amonsgt serial killers.

    just sayin’…..

  4. Kristen Ferrell February 26, 2008 at 5:04 pm #

    i’ll be sure to quote you in my defense when i finally snap and let the world have it.

  5. whitney February 26, 2008 at 9:58 pm #

    wow… that was already 2 years ago?
    online time flies by. hah.

    hope everything turns out a-o.k.
    and i agree with butcherbaby….
    brad’s a good man.
    youre a lucky gal, πŸ˜€


  6. Cassie February 27, 2008 at 7:21 am #

    WOW! I also didn’t realize it had been two years since that happened! That means I’ve been your “cyber buddy” for over two years. huh…. cool.

    Brad is sneaky using the parental guilt approach, but I am sure its for the best. Hopefully they will be able to fix some of the problems w/o surgery or anything like that.
    We like your head just the way it is, sans twitchies and such.

    hugs and hearts

  7. juju galaxie February 27, 2008 at 9:15 am #

    Absolutely crapola!! l have had my very own personal past biting me in the ass right now as well…its tons of fun…GOOD LUCK!!

  8. matorias February 27, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    You ,know, I’m an MRI tech AND an acupuncturist. There is a really good chance that they won’t find anything on the MRI. I’ve heard this story over and over again and many times, the films come back negative. If that’s the case, and western MD’s cannot help, might I suggest acupuncture? Find a REALLY good one because neurological damage/neuropathy is a difficult and time consuming thing to treat and you want a really good practitioner to make the treatments faster and less expensive.

  9. Kristen Ferrell February 27, 2008 at 1:14 pm #

    That’s all REALLY good to know. I REALLY REALLY hope that they don’t find anything on the MRI (mainly because I just don’t have the time or the energy to deal with medical traumas right now… I know that sounds really trite, but time is the one thing in my life right now that I have NO surplus of).

    Most days when I just have to do my basic and routine tasks, the only thing that really bothers me is the pain and the twitching. But since my last trade show, I’ve been having to do alot of detailed work in Quickbooks (adding item numbers and invoices- lots of tedious but VERY detail oriented tasks)… and this is when I notice the foggy-headedness the most. I’ll be typing in lists of numbers and data, and i guess i’ll space out… but while i’m spaced out i keep typing. so when i “snap out of it”, there’s all this babble on my computer screen, and i have no idea if i’ve pressed “enter” and recorded this babble, so i have to search through all my data and find the nonsense and delete it…. it makes everything take twice as long and twice as irritating. i kindof hate it.

    but thank you so much for your info!!!

  10. Aine February 27, 2008 at 4:16 pm #


    But aside from that ouburst. I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about your medical craziness right now. Hopefully everything will go okay. Much love to you in this time.

  11. Dee Stroi February 27, 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    Hopefully all this craziness with your head will be solved. Take care of yourself lady! Lots of people care about you. πŸ™‚

    HARRY BELAFONTE RULES! his music always puts me in a good mood.

  12. Kristen Ferrell February 27, 2008 at 9:56 pm #

    awww… thank you!!

    and we should all love harry belafonte. each and every one of us.

  13. Brandi February 28, 2008 at 11:07 am #

    wait a minute. What kind of eye twitches are we talking about? because I get eye/face twitches and migraines ALL THE TIME. I just assume it’s stress, and we have a similarly busy lifestyle, which I like, actually (minus the stress). About every couple of months a new twitch happens that lasts for weeks. I guess I never really thought it was “normal” but without health insurance, I’m reluctant to go to the doctor. I’ll have to die or move to Canada.

  14. Brandi February 28, 2008 at 11:30 am #

    p.s. I guess I should state that I have knocked myself out completely twice in my life and been knocked out by someone else once. *sigh* poor brains.

  15. Jamie February 29, 2008 at 2:02 am #

    i have a friend who sustained a head injury in a car wreck a long time ago. she’s been through the rampage of similar tests lately [until she lost her job, thus her insurance], because she’s been having weird twitches, headaches, tingling, numbness, dizziness, etc.

    *i* am convinced that if she tries accupuncture it will help. she thinks i am being a hippie.

    so i say, at least try the accupuncture. my grandma used to get it and she said it helped [whatever problem i have since forgotten].

    i jammed a knife into my pinky finger while slicing a bagel once and it almost went all the way through. you can see the scar, and it was over a year before i had feeling in that little part of my finger. same situation with the tip of my thumb i almost cut off in 2005 – it’s only just now healing smoothly and starting to get feeling back.

  16. Candice March 3, 2008 at 8:53 pm #

    Uck, this sucks bigtime. My boyfriend rode motocross for many years and sustained several head injuries from it. Then lo’ and behold came adulthood and he started having a lot of the same symptoms…migraines, numbness, blurry vision, the whole package. I’ve noticed that it always seems to flair up when he’s under a lot of stress. Maybe your troubles are coming from a similar combo of pre-existing injury plus being busy busy busy and stressed out. Anyway, sorry I’m coming into this conversation so late, and I hope all this business turns out well for you.

  17. C.J. March 4, 2008 at 12:08 am #

    I hope you feel better and that your head is ok!

  18. undertakergirl March 4, 2008 at 9:30 am #

    whenever you have a bad injury no matter what i think you feel it for the rest of your life. i fell off a horse onto my hip and it makes a funy noise if i move it a certain way. and i get awful headaches as a result of inhaling arterial fluid and other fun chemicals.

    feel better lady you rock!

  19. Lex March 11, 2008 at 4:45 am #

    Thank goodness you are taking care of this! I was going to come out there and beat it in again if you didn’t get to a doc! Ugh!! I know, none of us have time for this shit, but it has to be dealt with. That’s another bad thing about having a blog too, I don’t have time to answer the homophobes and Obamaphobes (seriously, I’m covered in people who will only call him “Hussein” and say the weirdest shit about him being a Muslim –if you really want a headache, check these people out. Ugh.) that my blog seems to attract. You need to be fixed though! I smashed a nerve in my jaw in November (bit down on something and the tooth didn’t crack but just pushed in and messed up the soft tissue) and it shoots pains into my right ear horribly. I do not have time for dealing with it with all the projects I am involved with right now, but I have to.

    My injury will heal though, yours isn’t so far, and it’s already costing you time with the headaches and everything, so you might as well get an answer. If you by any chance get Dr. Gregory House though, please let me know, because I want him. HE’S MINE!!! Seriously though, keep everyone updated. I know you will, but this is important.

    P.S. I’m still sooooper-doooper proud of the dent my knee-cap left in the corner of my kitchen island. And I did it all without even a hair-line fracture! YAY! So don’t feel bad, we all fall down and go boom.

  20. heather March 12, 2008 at 2:56 am #

    i’m so confused right now, kristin.
    maybe it’s the hangover, maybe i’m just really that old.
    look at you, you respond to almost all of your comments.
    you are either really that sweet,
    or not sleeping.
    i’m going for ‘that sweet.’
    is this where i get in line for the
    french coke-sniffer, dress-looker-upper’s phone #?
    actually, now that i think about it,
    i may have seen him the other night,
    he was playing an electric guitar
    in a blues band,
    picking the strings with his tongue.
    looked kinda like a chicken,
    pecking at grain (or whatever it is chickens eat)

  21. BFA March 12, 2008 at 4:57 pm #

    It took me nearly 5 years to recover from my concussion. The headaches eventually died down. Hopefully yours won’t take as long.

    Oh, and my MRI’s showed nothing…

  22. Danielle March 12, 2008 at 5:55 pm #

    Hey girl! It’s been AGES since we’ve talked, which is probably weird that I’m randomly posting on your blog, but I was checking out your site and am now here!

    I don’t think people every really recover from massive traumas. Even after surgery or long periods of healing, there is always residual pain or problems…
    It’s virtually impossible to not worry about that stuff, but I’ve found that taking a few sedatives or updating my website takes my mind off of it. πŸ˜‰

    I had 3 Ultrasounds and 1 MRI last month for pelvic issues, and you’d think I’d be used to them right now, but I still get scared when I go in. So I buy myself a cupcake afterwards to make it all better.

    hope this finds you in good spirits!
    I think I’ll be ordering one of your adorable hoodies soon. A friend bought me a set of your plates that now hang on my wall. I’ll send a pic!
    -Danielle (from Denver)

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