Random manic blathering….

15 Mar

Every once in a while I get hit with “the frenzies” (well, actually more often than “once in a while”, but I don’t want to admit to the world that I’m a manic nutball- but I think by stating this, I just did). It happens under 2 different situations: 1.) when life spins out of control and I can no longer cope with it; and 2.) when life has just finished being CRAZY busy and I’ve been running at top speed for weeks, but it suddenly calms down- but I don’t know how to stop running at top speed. When either of these situations occur, and “the frenzies” hit, I rearrange the house. This drove my ex-husband NUTS… and it used to drive Brad NUTS too- but he’s now learned to just stay out of my way and let me get it out of my system. There’s no fighting it. It’s a forced bigger than us all. Brad will often come home to find a newly purchased shelving system from IKEA half assembled, the living room is now on the other side of the house, and I’ve switched our bedroom with Sully’s. Or I’ll just start repainting all the walls. Or take EVERYTHING out of all the closets and come up with insane re-organizational plans that will bring about world peace. It’s a blind frenzy that can last for days without sleep. Brad calls it “madness”; I call it “making it better”.

That’s what I’ve been doing all night… but I’m trying to tame it a little because there have been times where it has just gotten out of control. So I’m forcing myself to sit down and type. Type anything. Something to distract myself from the manic-distraction-in-progress (because that’s all it is…. a distraction… but one that is overdrive). Everything is ok in moderation- so I’m training myself to moderate this. So on I babble…..

Sully is in karate. It’s fucking adorable. He’s so awkward and clumsy, and to see him do his little kicks and punches just cracks me up (but in that maternal loving laughing-with-you kindof way). He’s just beginning, so he’s at the white-belt level. Or at least he was until today. Today they had their “big test” to see if they were ready to move up to the next belt. There’s a bunch of kids in his class that are younger than him, and there is nothing funnier on this planet than seeing a bunch of spazzy 6 year olds jumping around, falling down, and screaming japanese. It takes everything I have to not scream at the top of my lungs “YOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING CUTE THAT I HAVE TO DESTROY YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!” and slam each and everyone of them to the ground. But he passed his test with flying colors, scored the best “grade” out of all the other white belts, and has moved up to an orange belt. I held off on getting him the little uniform (I’m an idiot and can’t remember what they’re called) until we were sure this was something he was into… but he’s getting it on Thursday, and I’ll be sure to post pics of him in it. I’m really proud of him because he hates all sports- so for him to take to this and really try at it is a big step for him.

Brad has also started karate. This is hilarious in a totally different way. Brad is built like a little tank… he’s about 5’8″, but has the shoulder span of someone who is 6’4″ and has quite a bit of bulky man-muscles and a long torso. So to see him doing his leg kicks with those little muscle legs makes me fall on the ground and cry. He’s really really great at it (and I pity anyone who goes up against him, because he was a brutal force to reckon with to begin with- and now he’s trained to be efficient with it).. But to illustrate his little legs kicks, I drew him a little cartoon yesterday morning, and I will share it with you all now (and I KNOW he will kill me for putting this on here… but it’s either this or I move our bed into the living room again with my frenzy).

little leg karate

On another note, my wonderful friend Heather sent me an email and let me know that she had just found a bunch of pics she had taken of me when we were about 24 years old. She put them on her flickr page, and my first response was “holy shit! look how young I look!! haha!!”…. then my second response was “holy shit! look how young I look! (no laughter)- what the fuck happened???!!”. I know damn well what happened… cigarettes, 2 pots (sometimes 3) of coffee a day, and no sleep for years and years, and falling on my face and scarring it up over and over and over again. This was the rude awakening I needed to get my ass in gear and make some changes (and I’m aware that this is totally shallow to make life changes for vanity’s sake- but since I can’t take my lungs out and look at the damage I’ve done to them, I have to rely on the affects that my face has endured).

Me at 24 years old:

But she is a BRILLIANT artist, and you can see some of her drawings and mezzotints (i hope i spelled that right… i was a printmaking major, so if i didn’t that’s pretty embarrassing) on her flickr page: HERE!! She’s pretty fucking awesome (even if she did throw me into a mid-life crisis… but I won’t hold that against her).

On a final note, I have very recently fallen in cahoots with Gomineko Books out of Japan, and they are glorious enough to want to make an art book with me!!!! We are just in the beginning of our planning process, but I am SOOOO fucking excited about this!!! You can check out their ebay store HERE or be their buddy on myspace HERE!! YYYYYAAAAYYYY!!!!

That’s all I know. I think the frenzy has dulled to a quiet roar, so I can be done for the night. Thank you for tolerating my babble. I will leave you with a little present:



17 Responses to “Random manic blathering….”

  1. Katie March 16, 2008 at 8:50 am #

    Oh Kristen. You make me laugh, and smile, and you provide some comfort because you’re that person I’ve “discovered” who reinforces that I am not alone. I am only 24, well, almost, and this was like reading my own goddamn blog. I re-arrange whenever I reach “what the fuck now!?” mode. I wonder if at 31 I’ll look at pictures of myself and say the same thing…cause it’s coffee, cigarettes, booze, and a lot of wheat thins for this melodramatic neurotic ballerina in mayhem chick.

    glad to know you’re still you. kansas still sucks the big one, fyi.


  2. Dee Stroi March 16, 2008 at 5:01 pm #

    This blog made me feel better. I went on a cleaning frenzy today too. Im trying to take control of my life again. And I figured the best way to start is to clean up the clutter around me. The little cartoon of Brad doing karate made me giggle πŸ˜€

  3. Kristen Ferrell March 16, 2008 at 5:14 pm #

    i like knowing that i’m not the only one who goes on manic organizational quests in order to stay sane. that makes me feel a little less alone in the universe. πŸ˜‰

    brad laughed and laughed at my drawing of him. instead of pointing knives at me now, he has taken to jumping into a sparring stance and play-pretending that he’s karate-chopping the hell outta me… to which i combat it by making cartoon noises to go along with his every move. he wants me to take karate with him… but i would have to make those noises under my breath during the entire class, and he’d get in trouble for not being able to stop laughing. plus, then i’d know how to REALLY kick his ass. on second thought… taking the class with him may not be a bad idea…. ha!

  4. whitney March 16, 2008 at 8:23 pm #

    oooooooh, how i love you and yr silly blatherings!!

    thats so rad that sully is getting into martial arts! maybe one day james can train him to become a ninja warrior.

    and that brad-kicking illustration should def. be a shirt.

    and don’t worry, you’re still one hot mama!!!


  5. Candice March 16, 2008 at 11:56 pm #

    Beginning backwards with the blasphemy picture.

    5. HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahaha!
    4. All of those 24yr old pictures of you are awesome and your friend is really talented (and likes pee-wee, double score!), but you are still so very gorgeous. If anything, I’d say even more so.
    3. HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha! (that’s for Brad’s karate pic).
    2. Sully rocks. yay, for the orange belt!
    1. I have a tendency towards “the frenzies” myself. I’m embarassed to report that my house probably wouldn’t get cleaned or improved without them…ever. “The frenzies” are also the reason that my family members have more than once awoken to the plethora of cakes and/or cupcakes that I decided I really needed to create at 2 in the morning. maybe i need “analysis”…

  6. Lemissa March 17, 2008 at 6:16 am #

    Heyyy Lady…I knew you at 24 (I think…I hope…if not right at 24 then shortly thereafter) and you are STILL GORGEOUS…plus black and white pics make everyone look better…tell that girl to come take some fresh black and whites of you! As for the frenzies, let me just put it out there that anyone with the cleaning frenzies is completely welcome at my frenzy-less abode! hahaha!

  7. TaraRist March 17, 2008 at 6:22 am #

    “β€œYOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING CUTE THAT I HAVE TO DESTROY YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!” and slam each and everyone of them to the ground”

    I work in the “18 months – 4 years” room at a daycare, and I have quite often told my family and friends that some of the babies I work with are so cute that I just want to squeeze them until they poop…or pop. Whichever comes first. Never before has anyone else shared my feelings of having to crush or destroy something because I just love it so much! haha

    Also, I get the “re-arrange” bug alot, often during periods of mental breakdown…usually right around 2 am…I clean and re-arrange my house until 5 in the morning. And always on days where I am required to wake up at 7 am….

    I enjoy that inspirational picture very much.

    I however do have one that I think you would like even more…

  8. TaraRist March 17, 2008 at 6:23 am #

    Here’s the picture, the link I tried to use didn’t work. 😦

  9. Kristen Ferrell March 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    i only have a second to respond because hell just broke loose in my house… but i’ve got another amazing kirk photo to share with the world….

    *sigh*... i love this sooooo much!!!


  10. BFA March 17, 2008 at 4:52 pm #

    The little legs karate is killing me.

  11. Kristen Ferrell March 17, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    you know brad well… so picture him in your head…. fierce look on his face, arms up in a defensive stance… and up pops one of his little legs like he’s some kind of toy. pop!!

    it’s so amazing!!!!

  12. heather March 17, 2008 at 9:31 pm #

    you bitch. you didn’t tell me you put wrote about me here. (at least you didn’t draw me doing karate kicks) i guess i have to post some mezzotints (spelled it right, good girl) now. thanks alot. i was busy screwing around joining groups like ‘street art in Helsinki.’

  13. Kristen Ferrell March 17, 2008 at 10:53 pm #

    hehehe! i’m sneaky like that.

  14. heather March 18, 2008 at 5:42 am #

    i’m thinking now my impulse to call you a bitch on your fancy-pants blog, other than just being fun, has to do with my own slip into sleepless nights. i got five hours of sleep last night. that’s more than the three nights before that combined. what impresses me most is the linear coherence of your writing on that little sleep. and don’t worry about the aging effects of stress, cigarettes and coffee. from what i can tell in the pictures of you in that black strapless dress – your boobs have gotten bigger. that’s gotta be worth something, right? i hope you have slowed down by now. i’ve found sometimes if i’ve been up for several days a good, strong cup of black coffee will actually knock me out. i think it works something like adderall.

  15. heather March 19, 2008 at 6:34 am #

    i just wanted to add something about ‘street art in Helsinki’ i’m REALLY diggin’ it. (flickr) go check out ‘KAPITALISMI EI OLI

  16. heather March 19, 2008 at 6:35 am #

    crap, hit the wrong button, LEIKIN ASIA’ – it’s pretty cool.

  17. Jennifer March 20, 2008 at 10:16 am #

    I’ve been getting the “frenzies” quite a bit lately & for similar reasons that you get them. I hate to feel out of control over things & I’ll do massive cleaning around the house. I have come close to ripping up the carpet in my den several times in one of these states. It needs to be done but it’s certainly not a one-person job.
    When I feel like I have too much time on my hands I also get in those moods. I stay so busy at work I feel like I don’t know how to just be still anymore.

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