My cat had better get herself a goddamn dayjob….

1 Apr

Last night, my kitten Daisy had to be rushed to the emergency vet hospital.

A few days ago, her and our fat Lila cat duked it out (the battle being instigated by Daisy- who weighs barely 5 pounds against Lila who weighs about 11 pounds), and Daisy’s inside eyelid got torn by Lila’s massive talons.  Within a few days, even with medicine from the vet, it got so infected that Daisy started to “shut down”.  Stopped eating and drinking, could barely move, her eye swelled up like crazy, matted fur… the whole bit.  It was when she started trying to do the “crawl away to die” thing that I said “I don’t care how much it costs, she’s going to the emergency room”.  I raised this little kitten from when she was so tiny her eyes weren’t even open… so my maternal defenses kicked in and took over.  This was Daisy at about 7 weeks old when she would sit on my head for hours every day while I worked……

After 5 hours of pacing the vet’s waiting room, at about 3:30am I was handed a bill for $450.00.  Yes… that’s right.  Four hundred and fifty fucking dollars.  When I boldly stated “I don’t care how much it costs”…. I didn’t really mean for the fates to take that to heart and rape my wallet for their own entertainment.  Fuck you, fates.

There was a really nice guy in the waiting room with me the whole time who was there because his dog had gone into labor and there were complications.  The mama dog was a Yorkie, and the papa dog was a Dachshund (weiner dog)… so he was  waiting for her to give birth to a litter of Dorkies.  Yes, that’s what they’re called.  Dorkies.  And she was popping out 5 of those little Dorkies… so he had been there for a VERY long time.  Thank you, kind sir, for keeping me entertained while my stupid kitten was cleaning out my bank account.

To sum it up: I am very tired. I am now broke.  Daisy is an asshole.  Lila is now going to get her claws trimmed every 10 minutes. And Dorkies rule.


15 Responses to “My cat had better get herself a goddamn dayjob….”

  1. aprilfalling April 1, 2008 at 8:39 pm #

    you have massive amounts of hair.

    oh yeah, Daisy is super cute too!

  2. Joe April 1, 2008 at 8:42 pm #

    Hey wild one, know just what your going through! I have 4 weimers, big dogs. They are my kids. My wife is partial to the male dog, Dutch. I call him knuckle head! He has always had a knot on his head, and we never did anything to it under the advice of the vet, who said I dont know what it is but the dog is fine, dont play with it. So we move from KS, and the vet that knew all our dogs, to MT and a vet who dont know us or our dogs! Yep, that know got as big as a tennis ball, then the swelling continued until he looked like a bull terrier! So a mid noght vet visit, and a operation later, He has a collar on, and I have to let the abscess heal from the inside out. This is like week two of the collar, and he hits the back of your leg with it, has destroyed countless items he has hooked the damn thing on, and all that would be fine except I stay home and deal with it!

  3. whitney April 1, 2008 at 9:29 pm #

    goodness gracious!

  4. joeyyy April 1, 2008 at 9:36 pm #

    aw, poor kitty. how is she doing now?

  5. Tawni April 2, 2008 at 3:57 am #

    Ooooohhh… I hope your little Daisy is doing better and fighting the infection. Poor sweet little kitters. Please keep us updated, if you get a minute. I worry about her now. Cat claw and dog bites, no matter how superficial they seem, are really dangerous because of the risk for infection. I hope the antibiotics are helping her heal quickly.

    Dorkies. We have a lot of those in our family. They aren’t dogs though. 🙂

  6. melancholymonday April 2, 2008 at 6:04 am #

    Let us know how she’s doing. Mickey sends his love… *meow*

  7. Cassie April 2, 2008 at 6:45 am #

    Poor Daisy! I hope she gets better fast.
    I am a “cat mom” as well and I’ve made NUMEROUS emergency vet visits, so I know how your wallet feels. Our wallets should start a club. = )
    And now I have a retarded lab puppy to add to our motley crew. He eats EVERYTHING, including bleach. Yep. Bleach. That was a $150 vet visit to flush him out and give him meds. Damn dog.

    HA. Dorkies. That RULES.

  8. Kristen Ferrell April 2, 2008 at 8:36 am #

    daisy is still feeling like shit. the vet said that it would take a few days for her to start feeling better because the infection hit so hard since she’s so tiny. she just sits curled up in a ball all day, not moving. it breaks my heart. it’s like when a baby is sick, and they think you’re trying to hurt them whenever you give them medicine. she’s avoiding me because she knows i’m the one that puts shit in her eye and stuffs pills down her throat. my poor stupid little kitten.

  9. Michelle April 2, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    aww, my cats have ‘cat wars’ that have occasionally ended in scratches but nothing that ever ends in a trip to the emergency room, luckily. and i’d be totally fucked and probably cry because the nearest animal hospital is over an hour away and only open on week days/during the day. here is a picture of them beating the crap out of eachother:

  10. Kristen Ferrell April 2, 2008 at 8:04 pm #

    the place we took daisy to is this insane 24 hour pet hospital right down the street from our house. there’s only one other like this one in the country- and it’s unbelievable. they have EVERYTHING a regular hospital has- only it’s all geared towards animals. an oncology unit; pressure oxygen tanks; a gym with all kinds of animal-sized equipment and treadmills for physical therapy; and vets fly in from all over the country to perform surgeries every week. it’s crazy!! and it’s so well staffed that every animal that is in there for long stays has their own person to sit with them and keep them company. but that’s why it cost $450… intensive eye scans and rush blood analysis testing (along with all the medications, the after hours emergency visit cost and everything else).
    but it is one of the coolest places i’ve ever seen.

    and that pic of your cats is hilarious!!!

  11. butcherbaby April 3, 2008 at 4:10 pm #

    i’ve heard of that hospital before…luckily i haven’t had to use their services. i used to work the emergency shift at a vet hospital that wasn’t nearly as fancy as all that, and $450 bills were pretty normal, sad to say.
    i hope kitty gets well soon- poor lil thing. maybe she’ll learn not to pick fights with cats that are twice her size!

  12. Kristen Ferrell April 3, 2008 at 5:10 pm #

    the total kick-in-the-balls is that i can guarantee that she will not learn from this. and she will pick more fights. and she will get the crap beat out of her again. and i will probably end up at that same vet hospital, shelling out another $450.

    quite maddening.

  13. Jen Daking April 10, 2008 at 2:17 pm #

    If Daisy could sing this to you she would:

  14. Kristen Ferrell April 10, 2008 at 8:18 pm #

    i just woke up from a nap, totally disorientated, and i watched that. it kindof fucked me up a bit… but in the best way.
    jen, you need to move into my purse so i can carry you around with me always. and sing me show-tunes. and put on my make up. and do little dances.
    stinky can come too.

  15. AnniePants April 19, 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    We spell that f-u-n. Wow. We have ferrets which quickly and efficiently clean out your wallet (in addition to hiding it under the bed if they have the chance…and sometimes in the closet) by choosing to chow down on random things….like styrofoam peanuts (that my mother still insists on packaging ‘care packages’ in despite my please of “no mom, the ferrets eat them even though i try my hardest to pick them up…they’re like pine needles and you will continue to find them for years to come”)….so I fully understand the emergency vet…though, the emergency vet here in Anchorage (*insert Deliverance music here*) rarely has a ferret knowledgable vet on hand……so we not only get charged for teh initial visit for them to tell us that no one can help us, but also the $300 x-rays, $200 blood work (they have to be sedated) and any other tests they can pull out of their asses….

    So, in short, your kitton (said kit-tone) and my ferts should get together and start some sort of charity. I think we might be onto something there.

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