Show time!!!!!…. almost… and I’m not ready….

8 Sep

… “Totally Natural” by And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead

I leave tomorrow afternoon for Berlin for my solo show at the Strychnin Gallery.  This show….

I love Berlin.  I can’t wait until Sully is old enough that I can take him overseas with me (with the current Sully-situation, it’s not really an option). And I’m bouncing up and down in my seat to be able to run around with the folks that run Strychnin, because they make me giggle and are fantastic and I love them.

But right now… I’m out of my mind.  I have web orders that need to be packed so they can go out before I leave.  I still have to pack.  I still have to frame a bunch of my smaller drawings.  In the midst of this morning’s frantic-ness (I know ‘frantic-ness isn’t a word, but since I just typed it, it’s now created, so fucking deal with it), the phone rings.  It’s Sully’s teacher.  Ya know those meltdowns that I mentioned in previous postings?  He was having a full scale one at school, and they can’t calm him down.  Big sigh.  Fucking awesome.  Great timing, little kiddo.  Fortunately, because I can and WILL move mountains with my “Mom Powers”, I was able to talk him down over the phone so that I didn’t have to drop everything and go in to calm him.  Praise be to mountain-moving-mom-powers (and for the times when they actually WORK!!).

But now the mania has set in …. the “Mom Mania”.  The gross and sticky thoughts that roll around saying “holy shit… what if he has a meltdown and I’m out of town and Brad can’t calm him as quickly as I can and what if they can’t get a hold of Brad and Sully goes on a TOTAL freakout frenzy and kills people and shoots venom lazer beams out of his eyes and spawns deamons from his mouth that eat babies and skins puppies and I’m not going to be there to stop it… etc etc etc”.  Mom Mania is just as mighty as Mom Powers because they stem from the same fountain of unflinching strength. I fucking HATE mom mania.  It’s the same shit that keeps me up at night silently crying because I can’t stop obsessing over all the ways that Sully could die.  Totally nuts, right?  If you don’t have babies- you don’t get it.  Once you push that human being out of your crotch, you somehow push out a large chunck of your sanity and ability to stop irrational thoughts.  I swear it’s true.  Ask your mom.

But yeah… so surrounded with orders, surrounded with packing, surrounded with pieces of art still needing to be assembled, fully engulfed with Mom Mania, Brad blasting “Clutch” from our bedroom (FUCK YOU, BRAD!!!  AND FUCK YOUR WARPED SENSE OF HUMOR AND THAT YOU THINK IT’S HILARIOUS TO REPEATEDLY PLAY MUSIC THAT MAKES ME WANT TO STICK KNIVES IN MY EARS)…. all this going on, and the clock is ticking down the minutes until I have to be at the airport tomorrow afternoon…. and I count my pieces for the show……………

95.  95 pieces.  Huh?  Let’s count again.  Fuck… still 95.  I recheck the email that tells me how many pieces they already have there.  I recount what I have and add that to the pieces they have…. only 95.


Is this a joke?  How did I do this?  How did I screw this up?  Have I lost my shit so completely and fully that I’m no longer even able to count to 100?  Really? Am I that far gone?  Dear Life… I don’t think the jokes you play on me for your own amusement are funny.  You are sick and cruel, and tempt me to dive off a bridge to separate you from me.

I have 24 hours until we leave for the airport.  24 hours to package and ship orders, pack my things, finish framing and packaging my pieces so they won’t get destroyed by the airport luggage handlers, tie up loose ends because I’ll be gone until Sunday and I know I’m going to come home to a wrecked house…. and now I have to somehow pull 5 pieces of art out of my ass.  In 24 hours.  If it wasn’t happening to me, I’d be laughing so fucking hard right now.  But since it is happening to me, I’ll punch anyone that I do see laughing.

Who wants to start the pool to see if I can actually accomplish this?….

To all you Europeans reading this…. hope to see ya at the show!!!… that is if I don’t have a full blown annyerism within the next 24 hours.


5 Responses to “Show time!!!!!…. almost… and I’m not ready….”

  1. germinfested September 8, 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    I have no doubt in my mind that you can pull this off! You’re SuperKristen(minus the spandex) and you can do anything. Including super quick paint flinging and warding off Sully Grumpies from across the world. Why? Because you’re fucking SuperKristen. And if all else fails you can rely on your five super magnificent SideKitties. But all else will not fail. Because you’re fucking SuperKristen. I know there’s a picture somewhere….

  2. Lemissa September 8, 2008 at 6:46 pm #

    cut some of them in half with pretty scalloped scissors and label them parts 1,2,3,4 etc….

  3. Kristen Ferrell September 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm #

    Hahaha!!! I can’t even imagine the looks on the beautiful Strychnin ladies faces if I pulled out a bunch of cut up drawings and said “sell these!”. They are some of my favorite people ever… but we’re good enough friends to where they would probably feel quite comfortable in smacking me for a stunt like that.

  4. whitney September 8, 2008 at 8:56 pm #

    well, stop fucking around on the computer and get to it!


    and as germinfested said, youre super kristen! you can do it.

    i believe in you.
    i believe in kristen!

    wheeeee, i’m retarded and starving.

  5. Tawni September 13, 2008 at 1:48 pm #

    You DID it! I’m late to the party, so I know you DID IT! WOO HOO! Congratulations, rock star. xoxoxox.

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