Who doesn’t love bad pictures???

24 Sep

Brad and I are in the midst of a battle right now.  He has in his possession one of the worst picture ever taken of me.  Ever.  Seriously.  It’s fucking scary.  And I want it.  Not to hide it… but to post it as my Myspace profile pic, and to put it in my bio section on my website, and I will then delete all other existing photos of me, just so when you do a “google image search” of my name- that’s the only picture that comes up.  I love bad pictures.  I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.  I look scraggly and discheveled (did i spell that right?) and like a total mess 98% of the time- and I’m ok with that.  Apparently Brad isn’t.  Whateversville, Brad.

So I will now retaliate the photo hostage situation by posting as many bad pictures of myself I can find.  Yes, “Brad’s friends”… he married a brutal beast of a woman with a rubber face and no shame.  How did he end up with such a wretched creature, and not pick one of the lame-ass-beach-bimbo-Orange-County-beauty-winners to marry?  What happened to him to make him settle for such a monster?  Dear god!  Poor Brad!!!  HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Let us begin….

horse face

duh.......

mountain man give the "thumbs up"

aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

packaging tape is too much fun.

broken nose

broken nose

dangerously drunk as Best Man at best friends wedding

dangerously drunk as "Best Man" at best friend's wedding

wearing my sons pull-up diapers

wearing my son's "pull-up" diapers

playing Dr Strangelove after I threw my back out

playing "Dr Strangelove" after I threw my back out

Brad, you should have just given me the fucking picture.  It really would have made things so much easier.

But even when I try to take nice pictures, they come out just looking uncomfortable.  My son and I tried to take a “nice smiley” picture with my laptop camera… but since we share a brain, we both did the “fake Sears Portrait Studio smile”- and the pic is just fucking weird.

….and sluggo is not entertained.  At all.

Aside from marital retaliation, the Severed Finger cupcakes I made FLEW off my webstore, and I’m gonna have to take this idea a little further and come up with more funny stuff like this.  I would like to thank everyone out there for helping me not feel like such a creepy degenerate and having the same sense of humor that I do!!  YOU ALL ARE FANTASTIC AND I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to work I go……….

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15 Responses to “Who doesn’t love bad pictures???”

  1. VJESCI September 24, 2008 at 10:42 am #

    http://www.museumofbadart.org

  2. Kristen Ferrell September 24, 2008 at 10:44 am #

    holy crap….. this is my new favorite website EVER!!!!!!!! THANKYOU!!!!!!!

  3. whitney September 24, 2008 at 4:10 pm #

    hahaha, you’re great.
    i dont necessarily think those are “bad” pictures…
    they’re just silly!

  4. Kararararalyn September 24, 2008 at 6:45 pm #

    OMG. The picture of you drunk at the wedding kills me everytime…

  5. daMama September 24, 2008 at 6:45 pm #

    you should see my driver’s license. I swear they have ugly software, anyone can look UGLY and so can you! ha ha ha

  6. Kristen Ferrell September 24, 2008 at 9:28 pm #

    Karararararararararararararlyn (I really like typing that)… I was so drunk at that wedding it was frightening. Seriously. I was the best man, and the groom was one of my closest friends since high school- so I went a little bonkers. There are actually pictures of me with the bridesmaid’s bras on my head, and by the end of the night Brad had to carry me out of there. It was bad. Really really bad. I’m not much of a drinker- but when I do it, I go whole hog. And I have no idea what the fuck was going on in that picture. It looks like I’m trying to be subdued or something. Karen (the bride), again, I am really sorry.

    and deMama… in the past my driver’s licences have been tolerable… but this last one- HOLY CRAP!!! It seriously doesn’t even look like me! Or maybe it’s a rendition of what I would look like if someone poured acid on my face. They’re really mean at the DMV. For as much as we paid to register our car when we moved here, I think that they could have at least hired some “Glamor Shots” employees to come and oversee the photography.

  7. juju galaxie September 25, 2008 at 12:09 am #

    holy crap!!
    you crack me up…Id pay money to see you on a stage talking about your denture collection and your bad photos!!
    hehe thanks for the laughs!!

  8. christine September 25, 2008 at 4:22 am #

    aww i think the pictures are silly but cute! I need airbrushing in any of my pics!!! my job gives me luggage under my eyes, so in most pictures i look like im either about to kill someone, or i am dead already!!! <333

  9. HarleeQ September 25, 2008 at 7:41 am #

    Brad has to sleep sometime. I’m sure you will find a way to get the picture.

  10. Kristen Ferrell September 25, 2008 at 9:23 am #

    It’s on his computer. And looooong ago, I vowed to never ever ever touch any of his electronics. Because previously, when I had ever even touched anything of his, and then if something went wrong- it HAD to have been because I fucked it up somehow. LAME!! So now, I just don’t even go near anything of his so that when HE screws it up, he can’t blame me.
    Boys are stupid.

  11. Candice September 25, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

    this just made my day.

    ex oh!

  12. Yardley September 25, 2008 at 11:44 pm #

    This made me think of you…

    cat n the box

    In case the embedding doesn’t work (it didn’t when I emailed it) here’s the link:

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=42707276

  13. Wunnspeed September 28, 2008 at 1:30 am #

    Oh my!

  14. Natalie October 4, 2008 at 11:59 am #

    Kristen, i think you’re my favorite person.
    I wish you were my big sister!

  15. Kristen Ferrell October 4, 2008 at 2:42 pm #

    Awwww, I’ll TOTALLY be your big sister!!!
    yay!!
    🙂

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