I got testecular cancer in my “Second Life”….

3 Oct

Ok, so I wanted to write a whole bunch about the Vice Presidential debates last night, but a discovery of something truely creepy has jumped up in my face and is screaming for attention- so I’ll sum up my view on the debate really quickly: Palin did better than I had expected, and the weeks of drill-camp coaching they must have put her through looked like they paid off.  But she still avoided straight answers to every question, outright lied in many of her responses (click the link for a listing of her bullshit), and resorted to being “adorable” when put under pressure.  Her “adorable” “down-homey” tactics are so goddamn transparent and make me want to vomit. And when Biden got emotional when talking about his struggles with being a single dad after his wife and child died- she looked like a total asshole for all her “I know the struggles of Average Joe” babble.  Summary:  Biden won.  Palin is a douche drinker.  Enough said.

But now onto my new horrifying discovery that occurred this morning.  I went onto my “flickr” account this morning, and someone with a bizarre looking profile picture had marked one of my pics as their favorites.  Since I was in my “just having my first cup of coffee so I’m randomly clicking on things” state of mind, I clicked on his flickr page to see his pictures.  My “creepy” siren went off, and I was immediately hooked.  This guy had hundreds of “snapshots” of virtual reality women that were apparently “taken” in virtual reality settings in something called “Second Life”.

I’m going to preface the rest of this by stating the most I know about virtual reality online games is what I’ve seen on old episodes of the “X-Files”.  The existence of them has always given me the creepin’-willies.  And I was under the assumption that they were all themed.. like you could be a knight or a wizard or a warrior or space invader or some other kindof nonsense bullshit, and you “dueled” other people who are also online trying to avoid reality.  Apparently I am very very wrong.

Second Life” (for those of you who are as ignorant to this weirdness as I am) is a virtual reality online “game” where you just wander around the Second Life world as a regular person, doing regular people things.  You can buy property (which costs you REAL money, not virtual money), and go out to eat, and go to clubs, and I guess you can hold a job, and have pets, and whatever else normal people do in normal life.  You meet other virtual people (who all look like porn stars) and can go on virtual dates, get virtually tipsy, make virtual witty banter about your virtual occupation and virtual experiences, and can go home and have virtual sex (does virtual sex come along with the virtual “morning-after regret”?).

This seriously blows my fucking mind!!!!  As if real life wasn’t bogged down with enough bullshit, these people have to take on a SECOND LIFE that is filled with the same mundane crap!!!  Do they not know that they can actually go to a real restaurant with real people and eat real food or go to real clubs and actually use their real feet for real dancing?  Or is it just that they can’t participate in these things in real life while looking like a low-rent porn star?

I showed this all to Brad this morning, and his immediate response was “Don’t you dare fucking contact any of these people and make fun of them!!  Don’t comment on their flickr “snapshots”, don’t send them messages, don’t even let them know you exist!!  These people are fucking terrifying, and we want no part of their reality”.  *sigh*  Ok.  No contact.  I get it.

BUT what I want to know is do I HAVE to be a porn star on there?  Do I HAVE to only wear daisy-dukes and cleavage showing tops, with long flowing hair and have a glamorous profession?  What if I wanted to be a homeless 400 pound hermaphrodite with goiters, herpes, and constant explosive diarrhea?   Can I do that?  It’s MY second life… it should be an option.  Can I spread my virtual herpes around the virtual community?  Are there virtual treatments for it?  Can I be a virtual serial killer?  Can I virtually egg someones house?  Can I virtually run red lights or will I get virtual tickets from the virtual police?  Can I be a virtual burglar?  The list goes on and on.  There shouldn’t be rules.  Because in my virtual life, I would be able to do all these things.  My perfect virtual life would consist of being able to go up to strangers and jam my finger in their eye…. but that’s against the “rules” in Second Life.  In my perfect virtual life, I’d be able to trip people on the dance floor and drive head on into oncoming traffic without getting hurt.  I would be able to walk into a restaurant and shove every person’s head into their food, and knock down huge expensive glass displays in stores at the mall.  My “id” would be able to completely take over, and be able to act on all the infantile impulses and thoughts that go through my head throughout the day.  But apparently virtual life is filled with just as many social rules and regulations as real life.

So what’s the fucking point?  To be able to exist in an “alter reality” with fake tits?  Go get fake tits in real life and be done with it!!  At least in the other on-line “virtual games” you can be something that you could NEVER EVER  be in real life… like a knight or warrior from hundreds of years ago or something.  But this?  This is just MORONIC!!!  Is the draw the virtual sex?  Having virtual sex with a virtual person is still just masterbation.  You aren’t ACTUALLY doing it!  WAKE UP!!!  IT’S CREEPY!!!!

The existence of this thing just totally boggles my mind.  And it’s BECAUSE of stuff like this that I have urges to jam my fingers in people’s eyes, and drive into oncoming traffic.


10 Responses to “I got testecular cancer in my “Second Life”….”

  1. whitney October 3, 2008 at 2:32 pm #

    “Her “adorable” “down-homey” tactics are so goddamn transparent and make me want to vomit.”
    thats EXACTLY how i felt when i was watching her… she acts cute and innocent and thinks that maybe her good looks and “cute” puppy personality will make people go “awww, shes ignorant and cute, she’s got my vote!!”
    the scary thing is that people DO look at that shit and WILL vote for her because of that nonsense!! ugh…. she’s such a cum-dumpster.
    biden totally kicked her ass.

    hahaha, holy shit, that second life shit is nuts!!!! it does seem pretty pointless to do virtual things. maybe there is only ONE certain circumstance as to why a person should even be doing that…. errrm, or maybe not. it is pretty creepy. i’m sure it’s only draw is the virtual sex… they can probably get away with it easier and then the “to catch a predator” people can’t catch them? i dunno how this works but i’m tempted to find out… if you don’t hear from me in about 3 days, call the police!

  2. Kristen Ferrell October 3, 2008 at 2:59 pm #

    People ARE falling for the “down-home good ol’ chick from Alaska” bullshit… and it’s NUTS!! She wants people to think “Wow! She’s just like me!! I’ll vote for her!!”
    Ya know what? I don’t want someone just like me running the country. I want someone BETTER than me!! I want someone MORE EDUCATED, and MORE DIPLOMATIC, and with MORE EXPERIENCE, and who doesn’t come off as an inbred hick when they speak.
    We’ve had an inbred hick for 2 terms… let’s try someone with some smarts this time around.

    And I’m so tempted to go on the “Second Life” thingy just to see how long it takes me to get kicked off. Maybe if you’re bound to the house and are unable to have a “First Life”, than the “Second Life” would be understandable… but in any other situation- it’s just weird.

  3. Vikki October 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm #

    I’ve never been on the secondlife website before.. and I got sucked into the FAQ.
    This was enough to scare me away from the people who use it

  4. daMama October 3, 2008 at 7:07 pm #

    Second life? I’ve no idea what to make of that either. Strange stuff that.

    On Gov. Palin, I whole heartedly agree with your assessment. Do you find her voice is like fingernails down a chalk board too or is that just me? Five minutes of listening to her lie I just want to b***h slap her back into reality world, where the rest of us thinking people live.

  5. Kristen Ferrell October 3, 2008 at 7:10 pm #

    yes… Her voice IS like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Everything about her gives me a rash.

    And with the Second Life, I can understand wanting to escape from life. I totally get that. It’s why people watch TV and go to movies or read books or whatever else. And like I said before, I totally get it if you’re unable to really participate in life in a “normal” way because of health problems or whatever. But for the thousands and thousands of people who participate in this bizarro virtual world who aren’t bound to their house or isolated in some way or another, why would you choose a virtual reality that is so like regular reality? I just don’t get it!!!!!!
    Plus, I see it as a breeding ground for predators and nutjobs.
    And virtual sex is totally fucking strange. It’s not even watching real people! They’re like cartoon characters!!! Who wants to watch cartoon characters having sex??!!! Vomit. That fills me with really bad feelings. (but I’m the wrong person to ask about this… I think watching any kind of sex is totally bizarre… we just look too damn stupid having sex for me to keep from totally cracking up. It’s one of the many reasons I think porn is so odd and ridiculous)

  6. BFA October 3, 2008 at 8:47 pm #

    The KU Art Dept and Spencer Museum own islands in Second Life. I advised against it because of the creepy predatory nature of the whole thing. It’s always creeped me out. Then you hear stories of people constantly being solicited for sex. And then there are animal and child-like avatars… That’s just more creepy.

    I’m not sure if the Art dept is using it for virtual sex though. Maybe…

  7. Kristen Ferrell October 4, 2008 at 9:17 am #

    NO WAY!!!! Is that what the Art Dept’s budget is going to? I could think of about 12 billion other things they could spend their money on instead of virtual islands for their students to encounter sexual predators on. Are the islands named things that would let others know that they’re owned by a university? Because creepy weirdos are going to flock to anything having to do with colleges because they know that young people will be there.
    What was the reasoning behind participating in this? I don’t understand how a college could really benefit in any way from this.

    I think that’s just CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Cassie October 6, 2008 at 5:57 am #

    Every time Palin talks it makes me wanna jab pencils in my ears. I’m sorry to say I didn’t make it all the way thru the debates because of her. *sigh*

    I have never heard of second life, but I have friends who are Larpers. They dress up like goblins, elves, etc and go out into the woods and “fight” with nerf padded weapons and such. I guess I respect them way more than these second life people. At least they commit to going out into the world and being strange…..

  9. Kristen Ferrell October 6, 2008 at 8:01 am #

    I’ve never heard of Larpers… but it sounds AMAZING!!!! Even if something is totally weird and dorky, the fact that people actually leave their homes, to gather and participate in the real life weirdness is A-ok in my book. They’re actually socializing with other human beings, and doing something other than hiding from life.
    One of my best friends (the one who commented above about how the college I went to has purchased “islands” in Second Life) were talking last night, and he was filling me in on just how creepy this game can be.
    Did you know that you can be a dolphin with boobs and go around having sex with people in this game? Not only are there people who have a desire to be a dolphin with boobs… but there are people who have a desire to have sex with a dolphin with boobs.
    What the fuck has to happen in someone’s childhood to create an adult who is sexually attracted to a dolphin?? People are born gay, straight, or bi-sexual, or whatever…. but NOONE is born with an attraction to animals or marine-life. These are severely broken and disturbed individuals.


  1. Virtual herpes support group | Herpes Survival Kit - September 27, 2014

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