Drinking bleach and going blind…

12 Nov

Ok, so I haven’t actually been drinking bleach… but the thought crossed my mind on more than 1 occasion over the past couple days.  I’ve been feeling sluggish, and sad for no reason, and panicked over my financial state (sales have been down because of the economy, and it’s scary).

To try to fight the sluggishness, I’ve started exercising.  I used to do yoga, but now I’ve been finding myself too manic to have the patience to “stretch and breathe” for any amount of time.  It doesn’t calm me or relax me… instead I find myself dwelling on all the things I need to be doing instead of “stretching and breathing”.  So I started doing “step aerobics”.  It’s ok.  You can laugh.  I can’t bring myself to go to a gym (the gyms out here are all such creepy meat-markets, and I’m not going to pay money to get creeped out), so the “step-thingy” came with an instructional DVD (which is hilarious enough to keep me entertained while I work out).  And I found that if you strap 5 pounds of weights onto your ankles for the workout, it really makes you sweat.  That’s fought the sluggishness- but not the pesky overwhelming sense of impending financial doom that hangs over my head.

Now for the blindness… last night, out of nowhere, I lost my ability to see clearly.  One minute- normal visual clarity.  The next minute, everything had a bright “halo” around it, and I had double vision.  This didn’t stop for a couple hours.  I tried to text Brad to tell him I was going blind, but I couldn’t see the screen on my phone to be able to send him a message.   And it was really stressful trying to make Sully dinner, working with a gas stove, and not knowing exactly how close my hands actually were to the flames (in hindsight, I probably should have just ordered a damn pizza).  With all my other health problems, this is the one that creeped me out the most.  I can’t lose my eyes.  Being able to see is kindof what I use the most when making art- so this was totally unnerving.  I might actually have to go to the doctor.  Ugh.  Gross.  We’ll see.

On an entertaining note, our little Daisy Ding-Dong Stupid Face kitten is in heat.  I know, I know… we should have gotten her fixed by now.  But she doesn’t go outside, and all the rest of our cats are fixed- so there’s no threat of baby Stupid Faces.  And right now, she’s HILARIOUS.  She’ll strut around the house calling for a boy, find one of our boy cats and try to woo him… but since all our fellas are fixed, they’ll just look at her like she’s crazy, and look at us like “What the hell is her problem?”.  Then, when she finally realizes that she’s not gonna get laid, she’ll hiss and smack them, and strut away- rejected and furious.  Our poor fella cats are so confused right now.  I love it.

My last post got a crazy amount of responses, and thank you all for joining in the debate!  But since I always have to get the final word in (I’m an Aries… it’s how I roll), I’d like to post this AMAZING little video that lovely Laura posted as a comment on my last blog.  It’s so great that it deserves it’s own blog- so here it is:

I love it I love it I love it I love it I love it…..from the bottom of my heart, thank you Keith Olbermann.

Another quest I’ve taken on this past week is trying to teach myself how to crochet.  This has been maddening.  I’m college educated.  I taught myself corporate graphics programs on the computer.  I’m a somewhat intelligent person… but for some reason I just have not been able to figure out how to make pretty knots with a metal stick.  Why the fuck is this??!!  It’s giving me low self-esteem.  I attempted to make a crocheted cake- but it turned out looking like a stupid hat.  And I made a birdy that was supposed to be 5 inches tall, but ended up 3 times that size.  But last night I made a little koala for Sully that actually looked like a koala- AND  was the size it was intended to be!!!  Here are the photos of the birdy and cake-hat:

I’m getting the hang of it a little bit.  My ultimate goal is to be able to make gigantic life-sized stuffed animals of the characters in my paintings.  I think it would be totally hilarious to be able to snuggle up to a 6-foot tall 2-headed llama with bleeding boobs wearing nurses hats.  So this is my current endeavor.  I will conquer this craft.  Mark my words.

Aside from all that, I’ve marked down ALL the clothing on my webstore.  I’m broke. You’re broke.  So to help out all the broke people out there, I’m making things a little cheaper. I also figured out how to provide gift certificates online… so hopefully that will help make holiday shopping a little easier for some of the folks out there (I don’t even want to THINK about holiday shopping… I might just crochet everyone a scarf and be done with it).

And right now, I’m part of the First Annual Midwest Plushforms Show at Shoparooni.  This is an online auction of hand painted plushform dolls, and is a charity show for Toys for Tots.  They’re still putting all the little plushforms onto the auction, I’m not sure if mine is online yet because I got it to them last minute (I seem to be doing everything last minute- sorry, Shoparooni!).  But the folks at the store are amazing, and you should all check it out.

I believe that is all for the day… or at least all I can coherently relay.  That rhymed!  Ha!!

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15 Responses to “Drinking bleach and going blind…”

  1. chelsea rae November 12, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Never fear Kristen, dear. I go blind all the time. Not to downplay a terrifying (& yes, potentially serious symptom of something else,) but i’m hyperglycemic, & when (not if) i forget to eat, everything is suddenly hidden behind a snowy tv. And, given that you ain’t supposed to be eatin’ any sugar, but do (& god knows how many other ways you aren’t taking care of your sweet little self,)it could just be a spike or bottoming-out in your blood sugar.
    Eat food! Sleep sleep! Smoke fewer cigarettes! [/soapbox]
    XO

  2. christine November 12, 2008 at 3:00 pm #

    I love step aerobics!! …in the privacy of my own home, of course.

  3. Kristen Ferrell November 12, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    I’m hyperglycemic too! I had a doctor laugh at me once when I mentioned the hyperglycemia, and he said “Wow- it HAS been a long time since you’ve seen a doctor, because we now call that ‘Diabetes'”.
    I’ve had the moodiness, the seizures, shakiness, etc… but the visual wackadoo’s is a new one. Problem averted. Now I don’t have to go to the doctor. HA!! I just have to remember to eat (yes.. I forget to eat. I swear to christ that it’s not intentional… I just get “work tunnel-vision”, and then I’ll look at the clock and it’s 4 or 5 in the evening and I’ve forgotten to put anything in my system but coffee… I’m retarded).

    I think I could only ever do the step aerobics in my own home. I yell at my TV instructor too much. She’s too fucking perky, and I hate her hair. I don’t think the kind of insults I throw at her would be welcome in a classroom setting.

  4. whitney November 12, 2008 at 7:03 pm #

    what an amazing video! why can’t there be more “tv people” out there like that?!?!?

    that’s a pretty damn good crocheting job! i couldn’t even crochet a straight line to help make a scarf… i just need more practice is all.
    and i’d LOVE to cuddle up to something with bleeding tits anytime! 🙂

  5. HarleeQ November 12, 2008 at 8:26 pm #

    When you make the 6-foot tall 2-headed llama with bleeding boobs wearing nurses hats I will be the first to buy it.

  6. Kristen Ferrell November 12, 2008 at 9:37 pm #

    I don’t know if this link will work because I have a popup slideshow thingy for my images on my website… but these are the llamas that I always wanted to make stuffed animals out of:

  7. Anonymous November 12, 2008 at 10:07 pm #

    Have you ever tried Pilates? I am way too hyper (in a a lazy way) to do yoga. I have tried and I get bored– quickly. I personally love pilates because I get a work out and I find it calms my mind and puts me in a better mood without totally boring me. I wish I could do yoga but I don’t have the patience so to me, pilates is the next best thing (and I love it) in terms of stress relief. Stott makes some great videos. If you are interested I have an extra basic pilates (pretty easy) I can send you and though I have never done it, I’m sure there’s a way I could burn the other ones.

    btw~ I think the crotched bridy looks awesome. I myself am embarking on making a quilt and I don’t have a sewing machine– well I do but it’s antique with no manual and I can’t get that bobbin threaded correctly. It’s a wedding present that I have promised so it will get done, some way, somehow but I am finding it quite intimidating at the moment. I have only done pillows and purses by hand before. Keep with it. I’m trying to envision “love hurts” as a crotched stuffed animal right now… I think it would be fabulous. Good luck with it, and keep at it, if those are your bad pieces, your good ones will be amazing.

  8. dollypop-amyjeen November 13, 2008 at 7:45 am #

    naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg !!!!!
    cake hat cake hat cake hat !!!!!!!!!!!
    that birdy is freakishly cute, reminds me of the weird 70’s cartoonish animation -yellow submarine-the point-electric company etc.
    i am imagining it morphing into llam with bleedy boobs right now.

    preeeeetty.

    and a thought, make yourself a “candy necklace” out of cheerios or dried fruit.
    ok dried fruit would look , and smell, kinda wth , but hey, whatever works.

  9. Angela November 14, 2008 at 6:33 am #

    Oh, Kristen I used to do step aerobics like a madlady! When I first graduated high school, I took aerobics and step classes at the Community College. I also had videos and my own step for my house that I would do in the mornings. That was the best shape I was ever in. Now, I want to kill myself everytime I have to get on that damn elliptical machine at the gym. I have no energy like I used to.

  10. Kristen Ferrell November 14, 2008 at 9:24 am #

    I really like being able to do this at home whenever I have a spare 30 minutes… I just wish the ladies on all these aerobics videos weren’t so goddamn annoying. They totally creep me out. Clapping along with the moves, their big fake smiles, vacant eyes and matching work-out clothing- and they all have horrible hair. Every one of them.
    I don’t care so much about getting in shape… I just want more energy. And I want J-lo’s ass. I know that’s an unrealistic goal because I’m not built like J-lo, and a rock-hard bubble butt just isn’t in my genetic make up (since I’m built like a scrawny boy)… but we all lie to ourselves in one way or another. My lie right now is that if I do enough step-aerobics, I’ll get that perfect bubble-butt. Realistically, I’ll go from looking like a scrawny boy to more athletic boy… no bubble-butt in sight. My metabolism is that of a hummingbird, so it makes it nearly impossible to ever achieve that glorious “curvy girl” body that I would kill for… and that all you girls with big ol’ curves should bask in.

  11. yard November 17, 2008 at 2:07 am #

    I’m not sure why the last comment I wrote came from anonymous. Anyways, I have a pilates video already to send to you if you want it. It seems to give me energy and relieve some stress and help me sleep when I am having trouble, fast enough I am not bored, slow enough it can be relaxing. If I can figure out how to burn (maybe it’s rip???) dvd’s I’ll send you some bar method dvd’s. those are my new favourites. I never got into step aerobics more then watching my mom and telling her to pick up the pace, or lift that leg higher. Well, it was funny to me when I was a kid 😉

  12. jamie November 25, 2008 at 8:41 pm #

    i taught myself to knit about a year before i left lawrence, i crochet sometimes, too, but knitting is actually easier for me.

    to deal with heavy emotional stress that has been weighing me down, i have been knitting hats, scarves, gloves and mittens for everyone in milwaukee. by feb, i want to see all my friends being kept warm with a piece i made for them. makes me feel good.

  13. brandy November 25, 2008 at 9:44 pm #

    i’ve been terrified about money. i’m self employed too and my business has gone down to about 1/3 if not worse of what it was.

    as for your blindness….i get something like that every once in a while. i was told it’s related to my migraines. that it’s just an “optical migraine”. it’s scary as fuck is what it is. i usually take a couple of advil migraine and go to bed. six or so hours later i’m just fine. kinda hungover feeling but fine. i hope it’s nothing and hope it doesn’t happen again.

  14. Kristen Ferrell November 25, 2008 at 9:52 pm #

    You too? FUCK!!!!!!!! This is so fucking bad!!! I have a very specific financial goal I have to meet every month in order to pay my bills, bank loans, etc etc…. Today is the 25th, and I’m not even close. My sales are a fraction of what they were last year… and that goes for wholesale, websales, and artwork. But what is REALLY terrifying is that there aren’t any jobs available!!!! I’ve been looking for work to tide me over until things get better- but there really is nothing. I get nauseous just thinking about it.
    I’ll hang in there if you hang in there.

  15. George March 26, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

    Smoke some weed that would Help, N im not a Pot head or those people u see on tv, People jus try and make us look bad but im just a regular person and it really does help

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