I CAN’T WAIT for the holidays to be over….

19 Dec

… and Christmas hasn’t even happened yet.  Every year, I defiantly state “No more.. Never again.. I’m done with Christmas FOREVER!!!!!!”.  And then the next year rolls around… and here I am again… in holiday hell.  I really really really fucking hate Christmas.

Yesterday, Sully and I were at Target picking up some odds and ends for around the house- and it was PACKED.  The word “swarming” doesn’t even begin to cover it.  As I’m trying to push my cart through the billions of people climbing over one another like rats- my knee gives out.  I have really bad knees.  I danced from age 4 until age 14- and only stopped because of a camping accident that destroyed them (my physical therapist gave me the “Well, you’re never going to dance again” talk, so I started drawing… things would have turned out very differently if it wasn’t for that camping accident).  My left knee is disfigured and will dislocate if you look at it wrong… my right knee is only about half-destroyed.  But it was my right knee that went out (which means trouble for my left one because too much pressure is put on it.. and I really do need 2 functioning knee caps).  So there I am at Target, refusing to abandon my cart and go home just to have to come back the next day and endure the madness over again, limping and trying to put all my weight on the cart so that we can get the rest of our stuff and get the fuck out of the store and away from all the people… and everywhere I turn in the store is old women, shuffling as slowly as possible down the middle of the aisles (and WHY are the always in the MIDDLE of the aisle???  For fucks sake- just apply the same rules of driving to shopping cart conduct!!!  IT’S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!!!!).  A couple of rants ago, I went on a tirade about old people and their inability to function- but I prefaced it with the fact that I really do love them.  I now recant that statement- and I hate them all.  Every one of them.  These ladies in the store have pushed me over my limit and all is see when I look at them is my fist slamming into their face.  Does that make me a terrible person?  Probably so.  Would I actually ever punch an old person? Probably not…. but it makes me feel a lot better to talk about punching them, and it’s probably keeping me from actually punching them… so please indulge me in my rant.

Everywhere I drove today while trying to run errands after work was, again, swarming with people.  And again- more old people.  And add to that stupid people, and irritated people, and angry people.  Everywhere we went.  And me, hobbling around on that bunk knee just trying to get in and out of stores, banks, and post offices without incident.  This season turns people into monsters.  I worked retail for almost a decade- and if you want to see human beings at their absolute worst- try working retail the week before and after Christmas.  The nicest people on the planet become rabid psychopathic maniacs.  It’s truly horrific.

I’m so tired of it.  I get the lectures from friends about how it’s a fun excuse to get together with family and give presents.  But my family knows I love them, and I give people gifts randomly throughout the year.  I’m really fucking tired of having to endure this nightmare every year because of a holiday that me and my son don’t religiously subscribe to.  And because I have a kid- I will dance the stupid dance and play along with all the rickita-racketa so that he can have presents like the rest of the kids.  But inside, I’m dying a little bit every second.  If I had shit-loads of time and money- it would probably be a different story.  But since I now have NO time or money- it is a monumental burden.

And tomorrow, we’re getting up early and going to try to hit the stores to get all the things for people that can’t be made… in bad traffic, packed malls, billions of old people, and me with hobbling around on my bum knee.

I’m not going to even bother stating “NEVER AGAIN, HORRID CHRISTMAS!!!”… because it’s bullshit.  I’ll be right back in it this time next year.  And writing another blog about how much I hate it.


I feel a little better now.  Thank you for allowing me to get that out of my system.


14 Responses to “I CAN’T WAIT for the holidays to be over….”

  1. hayley g December 19, 2008 at 7:26 pm #


  2. Kristen Ferrell December 19, 2008 at 8:43 pm #

    Thank you.
    I needed that.

  3. germinfested December 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm #

    I’m starting to hate it too. I went into Fry’s today to help my mom get the right kind of speaker connector thinger and there were SOOOO many people, in the way, screaming, yelling, ect.

    On the other hand, there was a guy that worked there that asked me about my F-Minus patch and then asked if I knew who Brad was and started talking about his “cool artist wife”. Apparently, he has one of your molars tattooed on him and was talking about that. It’s not every day that people come up to me in stores and talk to me about Good ol’ Kristen Ferrell. It really made my day.

    Also, THANK YOUUUUU for the prints! I love them! A lot! I’m actually moving into a new house in which I’ll be making a storage area into an art/craft studio, and I’m going to put them on the walls in there. You’re made of pure magic, and I can’t express in words how much you amaze me.

    Haley loves Kristen forever.

  4. Kristen Ferrell December 19, 2008 at 10:48 pm #

    Oh Haley!!!! Happy birthday!!! And I’m SOOOOOO happy that you like the prints!! I’ve been emailing with your mom, and SHE’S SO RAD!!! She told me that she took you to get your first piercing, and she said it looks beautiful! But if you want to get tattooed, you really should wait until you’re 18 (every tattoo that I ever got before I was 18 is so so so horribly awful and ridiculous that they look like I lost a bet… seriously). But you’re one lucky lady to have such a warm and supportive mom. Go give her a hug right now. 😉

    And YOU totally made my day with your conversation with that guy at the store! How funny! Today wore me down to a bloody stump- but you were able to make me smile. Thank you so much for that!!

    Kristen love Haley forever, too!!!

  5. germinfested December 19, 2008 at 11:31 pm #

    My friend and I got shitty “lLet’s-be-friends-forever-and-stab-eachother-with-needles-doused-in-indian-ink” tattoos of cupcakes last summer. Now, it looks really horrible, but I think it’s the idea that matters. I do have a pretty cool mom. Beleive me, she got oodles and oodles of hugs after she gave me the prints. OODLES.

    I’ll try to find him again when I return my broken nascar red neck karaoke set.

    Your lottery geezer story made me giggle.

  6. juju galaxie December 20, 2008 at 10:18 am #

    YES!! so horrible!!
    And one of the biggest issues i have with these christmas tree huggers in the shopping arena is NO PERIFERAL VISION!!! Now I can handle it on a day to day one here or there person who has none,,,but at christmas they are all crazy!! SOOO uninterested in their surroundings and the people in it. Rabid dogs have better manners!! Present shopping “ill shoot you in the face for an IPOD” ZOMBIES! So happy I do not have to do that shopping thing! Luckily, my family is too far away for a regular christmas and only my brother falls for the religious crap my mother and I do not subscribe too…of course we are going to hell..but thats another story.

    As for the old ladies…had I not taken care of my grandmother for over a year I would feel the same way..only now i just see her in them…they are so damn lucky!! Oh and the people with babies in their strollers…they keep running me over!!! What is that about!!

    ok..done now…hehe

  7. daMamma December 20, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Sometimes I read your rants and swear you are living my life. Bizzare, really!

    Visualization does wonders for keeping one calm and relativly non-violent. My favorite visual is to take their little walkers and beat them silly over the head with it. Keeps me sane.

    My gran couldn’t take all that Christmas shopping crap-o-la stuff either. “I don’t do Stupid”, she’d say. “I don’t speak Stuipd either!” Made her just nuts and she’d refuse to paticipate in the whole holiday madness thing. Instead she started her shopping in January. Quietly went about her business through out the year, carefully wraping and labeling each item as it was purchased. She’d have her last minute, crazy shopping done before the Back-to-school sales began. Was really freaky to get Christmas gifts from her after she died, all carefully wrapped and in her writing.

    I have so tried to be like her, but have never quite been successful. Someday, I hope.

    Hope your knees get to feeling better quickly. I’ve the same deal with my hips. SUX bigtime to say the least.

  8. Kristen Ferrell December 20, 2008 at 3:18 pm #

    Your grandma was BRILLIANT!!! That’s what I’m going to do this coming year. I want all my xmas shopping done and over with by the time summer is over. That way I don’t have to think about it next year at all. MAYBE then I’ll be able to experience some holiday joy.

    And I will never never ever understand the stroller situation. Ever. I’ve had a baby. I know that strollers are just as irritating and bulky for the parents as they are for everyone else. That’s why I LOOOOOOVED my little baby-backpack. Whenever I was going anywhere that I knew would be crowded, I just threw Sully in his little baby-backpack carrier, and I didn’t have to worry about running anyone over with his stroller or being in the way. Yes… he got heavy after a while- but so what. I saw it as exercise, and didn’t let it get to me.
    Damn strollers.

  9. Tawni December 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm #

    I hug you too. You are so right about it. All of it. It is so stupid, stressful and pointless.

    P.S. We are making all of our Xmas gifts this year and also warned the entire family ahead of time, just like your previous blog mentioned you did. You are a genius for the awesome things you made. But I already knew that about you.


  10. juju galaxie December 20, 2008 at 7:46 pm #

    well you are obviously a much smarter and more creative mother!! Thanks for showing them the way!
    : )
    good luck out there!!

  11. R December 21, 2008 at 11:27 am #

    The worst thing grocery stores ever invented were those big ass cars connected to shopping carts so kids can sit in them while their parents block the aisles with this bulky cart. And they don’t move an ounce while you are trying to squeeze on by. I hope that’s not hurtful to anyone with young children but I really can’t stand those carts especially since the kids riding in them are running through aisles and old enough to walk.

  12. Kristen Ferrell December 21, 2008 at 11:43 am #

    That’s not hurtful at all. It’s the damn truth!!! I always HATED those things!!! Yes, it’s nice to keep your kids entertained at the grocery store- but not at every other shoppers expense. I couldn’t ever use those carts when Sully was little because they were too big for me to push. They’re heavy and bulky to begin with… but loaded down with my kid and all our groceries, my 115 pound body couldn’t get the damn thing to move- let alone maneuver it around the store without running into things.
    PLUS I don’t like the idea of kids thinking that they have to be entertained every second of the day. It sets up brat-behavior. If you get them used to the concept early on that not everything in life is a party, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing- then you won’t have the attitude and tantrums when they’re older about doing things that aren’t involved with playtime. Does that make sense? I see kids all the time who are with their moms at the store whining and complaining about how bored they are, or how they don’t want to be there, etc. It’s bullshit… that kid somehow got the message that everything revolves around THEM having fun, and they brat-out whenever they’re expected to do something that isn’t playtime. I’ve always taught Sully that every day of his life, there will be things that he’s expected to do that aren’t necessarily fun- but that doesn’t mean these things have to be bad or traumatic… they just have to get done. End of story. And as soon as they’re done, THEN it’s playtime. And he doesn’t ever give me any guff about running errands with me- AND he doesn’t need to be entertained. He just functions.
    Maybe I’m taking the “shopping cart cars” a little too seriously, but they’re just one example of the ways we’re setting our kids up to lose as adults (other examples would be tv’s in cars, portable video games used as pacifiers for kids every time they are out in public, television used as a babysitter, etc etc etc).

    So yes… I hate them too.

  13. R December 21, 2008 at 12:29 pm #

    That’s cool how you realize that with kids today and their parents. I’m almost 20 and I don’t have children, I really can’t say anything, but the way kids are disciplined today and how they spend their lives is completely different now it seems, and I think a lot of it has to do with too much television and very little supervision and patience with the parents or caretakers part. I just recently babysat an 8 year old girl who has everything in the world including a Motorola Razor phone at 8 really she needs an expensive cell? When I went to the house she wanted me to watch movies with her and I looked at the movie and saw it was R-rated (and I watched R-rated movies at that age but only horror films with morely just gore), but her movie she picked out was a Comedy type of thing and it is R-rated for sexual content I went to her grandmother (who is in her 50’s so she isn’t old and nonfunctioning) and I said do you want her to be seeing this and she is like oh they can’t have too much in it she can’t handle she won’t even notice “those things”. Wrong she did and she knows a lot more about “those things” because she watches too much TV and the thing is little kids are very impressionable and they take things for the way they are seen. If kids watch too much TV and they watch the more teen adult type of shitty shows they have on now they are going to see life as how it’s portrayed and since the parents aren’t watching and explaining to them how that’s not how it is then there will be a great chance of issues along the road as the kid grows up. I don’t know you personally, but from what I read on here you seem to be a really good mother who is involved with her son’s life, which is rare these days especially with the whole dgital world taking over.

  14. Kristen Ferrell December 21, 2008 at 1:13 pm #

    You are 100% right about everything you said. And all of that is the exact reason that I got television out of our house when Sully turned 3. He learned everything he was going to learn from Sesame Street- and everything on TV was total shit. We still have a tv and a dvd player.. but no channels have been allowed to come through for 7 years. I have to be really careful with what I let him watch because with his Asperger’s Syndrome, one of things he does is mimic what he sees on movies and TV shows because he doesn’t inherently know proper social behavior. It’s not really a problem now that he’s older…. but when he was little, I had to really monitor everything that he saw because he would replicate anything he saw into his daily behavior.
    But even if he didn’t have Asperger’s, I’d be the same way with him and TV. We only watch educational shows, or shows that he can creatively get something out of. I’ve just started letting him watch our “Lost” dvd’s (and even though it has a PG13 type rating, it’s all because of stuff that doesn’t even phase him). But I let him watch it because it has such an involved plot and interesting concepts, and it’s filled with fantasy stuff that he totally adores. Kids’ are SOOOOO impressionable, and they really do take in far more than we will ever realize… and with everything he watches, I’m sitting right there with him to explain anything that might be questionable, or that he could take in an unhealthy way.
    AND he only gets about 30-45 minutes of tv, and only if he’s done all his chores, and only if he’s had a day that earns it, AND only if he’s doing something constructive while he watches it (like drawing or building with legos… there is no mindless vegetation in my house).
    TV shouldn’t raise our kids… WE should.

    Thank you for the parenting compliment! It’s hard to be a good parent when everything in our society seems to be out to destroy our kid’s little minds… but it’s a worthwhile battle.

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