Slamming my head repeatedly against the nearest wall…

19 Dec

A couple of hours ago I posted a new little blog.  It’s usually not like me to post 2 in a day… but this was just too much.  Very much too much.

Please take a look at the video below…

This is one of the reasons I choose to not believe in God.  If there is a god, and he is so mean and spiteful that he is going to give a 92 year old woman the million dollar winning lottery ticket instead of one of the hundreds of thousands of struggling young parents out there- then he’s a TOTAL asshole.  Really and truly.  That guy is a dick, and I refuse to be on his team (or he has the kind of sense of humor that I’m really into- but only if I’m on the giving end of the joke instead of the receiving end). It’s as if Willy Wonka gave all the golden tickets to Violet Beauregarde (yes, I had to look that up in order to find the proper spelling).

Let me tell you a little story.  My ex-husband and I won the lottery years ago.  He looooooooooved his scratch-and-win tickets.  He swore there was a system, and bought them religiously.  But Sully was just a baby, I was in college, we were on food stamps and just barely making ends meet.  I remember it was Thanksgiving (Sully must have been about 5 months old), and as we were driving back from the family festivities I gave him a long lecture about the amount of money he was spending on these lottery tickets, and how slim the chances were of winning, and how we really needed to save every penny we had.  He agreed, and once we were home he went out with a buddy for a couple of post-turkey beers (another thing I wish he would have spent less money on… but moving on…).  Apparently, him and his buddy stopped off at a gas station.  He decided to buy one last ticket, and then say goodbye to the scratch-and-lose world for good…. and then he scratched… and won $20,000.  Yup, any wifely advice that I gave him from that point on was completely ignored.  And you had better believe that I never uttered another word to him about his love-affair with lottery tickets again.

So yes… young and struggling people CAN win… but here’s what blew my mind.  When you win the lottery (or at least when you win it in Kansas), you’ve got to go to the headquarters where you fill out the paperwork and take your picture to put on the “Wall of White Trash Winners” (I can say that because I group myself into the category of ‘white trash’).  As we were walking through the lottery headquarters, I was looking at all the photos of all the previous White Trash Winners… and it looked like a gallery exhibit that should have been titled “What we all look like seconds before death”.  There were probably 2 photos amongst the hundreds there where the winners were under the age of 55.  AND there were probably about 15 photos of people around the age of 260, in a wheel chair and hooked up to oxygen tanks.  No, I’m not exaggerating for comedic effect (ok… the “age 260” is an exaggeration- but nothing else).  What REALLY baffled me was how these zombies who were held together by the tiniest threads of medical miracles were able to get themselves to the nearest 7-11 and buy these lottery tickets!  And why was it that there were SO FUCKING MANY of these ancient winners (because when I’m standing in line at the convenience store, the people who are buying the tickets are always around my age).  How is this happening?  Is life really that unfair?

Yes…. yes it is.

So my heart doesn’t swell with good feelings when I hear some story about a 92 year old woman who won a million dollars.  But I’m far more disgusted with the hourly-minimum-wage-clerk who grabbed her discarded winning ticket, ran after her, and told her that she had in fact won.  That guy is a total fucking moron.  If it were me, I would have taken the money and run.  I wouldn’t have contemplated giving it back to her for a second.  You know that psyche evaluation question they ask you for jobs… the one that goes something like “If you found a wallet on street filled with money, what would you do?”.  Yes, the socially correct answer is “contact the owner and return it”… but that is also the “wow, you’re an ignorant douchebag” answer.  The real life answer is: “take the cash, and if you’re a REALLY good person, contact the person and give them back their credit cards and ID”.  If you’re only an ok person, the answer is: “take the cash, and then wrap the wallet in a plastic bag and throw it away so that noone can steal the credit cards and ruin someone’s credit with them”.  But bottom line is that if you’re working that shitty 7-11 job, and some 92 year old lady throws away her million dollar lottery ticket- it’s no longer hers.  Take it, quit your job, invest in a secure future, and don’t look back.  There’s a fine line between “nice guy” and “sucker”- and that guy dived head-first into a shallow pool filled with “sucker”.  I hope his wife slapped the shit outta him when he got home that night.

I’m done posting for tonight.  Really.  Back to making christmas presents (uuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh).


8 Responses to “Slamming my head repeatedly against the nearest wall…”

  1. whitney December 20, 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    I think it would be 10x worse if Mr. Wonka gave all the golden tickets to Veruka Salt. (i didnt look up how to spell her name)… so it’s probably wrong. haha.

    and seriously WHY do the old fucks always win??? i mean, it’s probably cool for her kids/grandkids cause she knows shes gonna keel over soon, so theyre probably like “badass mom! good timing before you die!” they didnt blow their retirement money on it so it’s just free money for them.

    hmm, if you’ve got any extra time, can you come over and finish my gifts for me? my phlebitis is killing me, so i’m pretty much making and wrapping everything one-armed and it’s pretty tiring! i can push you around in a wheel-chair with one arm if that helps.

  2. christine December 21, 2008 at 7:04 am #

    I really need to start buying lotto tickets. Hopefully, this old lady did what very few people with money do…donate to a family for Christmas. But..then again thats more of a wild fantasy…

    On a brighter note, in the midst of all my Christmas shopping I stumbled upon cheap decorative plate hangers, so now my new walls of full of Kristen Ferrell plate goodness!!

    **HUG** don’t worry it will all be over soon! damn holidays… For us its crunch time because anyone who dies now, they want funerals before the holidays so it doesn’t mess up travel plans..the holiday spirit is really showing, isn’t it.

  3. Kristen Ferrell December 21, 2008 at 10:55 am #

    Are you kidding me? People actually rush funerals so that it doesn’t interfere with their christmas? That’s the rudest thing I’ve ever heard!! I don’t put much stock in most any other types of ceremonies, events, or cultural rites of passage- but I think funerals are important. They’re a healthy way for people to celebrate and respect someone they cared for… a kind of “we really liked having you around, and we’ll miss you now that you’re gone”. To rush something like that because they happened to die at a time that is inconvenient for the family is totally disgraceful. Some people are so fucking gross!

    I don’t ever bother with gambling or lotto tickets. I always break even. Always. Whenever I’ve gambled at casinos, friendly card games, or bought lottery tickets- I walk away with almost exactly the same amount that I walked in with. It’s good because I don’t lose tons of money, but at the same time after a while of being “even steven” it kindof takes any thrill out of the game because I know that I will never “win big”.

    Yay for your plates!! I was totally wanting to make a new set for the holidays- but I just couldn’t afford to get them made. I have to be soooo careful with the amount of money that I spend on new products because I’m so broke- and those things are super expensive to make. *sigh* I’ll hopefully be able to make more soon.

    Whitney- I’ll make your presents if you make mine!! I’m about to break down and give up on the “hand made” gifts, and just go to Costco and get everyone big bags of candy or something. UGH!!!

  4. R December 21, 2008 at 10:01 pm #

    I used to get lotto tickets for X-mas in my stocking when I was a little kid, and I only won once and it was 100 dollars, but at age 7, one hundred dollars means you are the richest kid on the playground until you blow it all on stuffed animal cats I totally bragged about it until I was told to keep quiet in the convienance store because it is illegal for kids under 18. Luckily I didn’t get the gambling and alcohol gene addiction in the family, I don’t care for cards and gambling because sitting around bores me and cards make me think of math which I struggle with.

  5. R December 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm #

    Oh yeah and the clerk guy who decided to play the right thing to do (maybe in hopes that the lady maybe would give him half), anyways I had one of those under minimum wage food service jobs that could really suck you dry with all the jerk customers and power trip employees (which I’m sure everyone else has experienced). I worked there for two years until I had it and gave a three week notice, I got a lot of shit for that three week notice which was uneccessary I was there for more than an hour discussing why I’m going to quit anyhow the next day I worked again and picked up some lottery tickets and decided to get one for my boss since it was his birthday and it was those pick and play ones where you get a receipt from the clerk. I picked one card for me and one for him the clerk said I think you won 300 hundred dollars and it was the card I picked for him so when I was pulling into the job I decided to keep the possible winning ticket for myself because I skimmed it and saw I might of won, which in the end I didn’t, but I figured why give him the chance he just gave me grief over a job I don’t even get minimum wage for and I worked everyday sometimes two shifts and I was at the age where I should of got paid the minimum even though I was under by a dollar, but I didn’t realize at the time those dollars add up.

  6. Kristen Ferrell December 21, 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    I was reprimanded by my mother-in-law yesterday for my attitude about this (which is totally ok, because she’s awesome, so I don’t mind if she tells me I’m being a jerk). But she said it was a very honest and noble thing the clerk did.
    I still stick by my opinion that the guy is a total chump. It’s a dog-eat-dog world… and if I’m standing behind the counter of a shit-ass job, with a million dollar ticket in one hand, and a bleak shit-ass-job future in the other hand…. I’m gonna proudly state “MINE” on that ticket, give the keys to the store to the first homeless guy I see, and never look back.

    But it’s also a pretty well known fact that I’m kindof an asshole.
    And I’m sooooooooooooooooooooooo ok with that.

  7. butcherbaby December 22, 2008 at 9:24 pm #

    i once found some old guys wallet in my apartment complex and gave it back to him money (like $40) and all (i had just gotten sober and was trying to live up to the “honesty” part.) when i knocked on his door instead of saying thank you he just grabbed it, mumbled something rude & incoherent, and shut the door in my face. i managed to blurt out “your money is all there” before it closed. i was stunned and PISSED, and you can believe i won’t ever do that again!
    i would have kept the lottery ticket too, and the $1000 some little girl found in the VHS tape at goodwill.

  8. Lex, Agent of Chaos December 24, 2008 at 7:16 am #

    I don’t know, if either of my Grandmothers won that amount right now I’d be looking at a nice inheritance. And so are this lady’s relatives. Maybe they do deserve it, who knows?

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