Walking around with a gigantic question mark over my head….

17 Mar

These are the things from the past 7 days that I don’t- nor ever will- understand….

1.  “Night Owl Dark Roast Coffee… for the ULTIMATE Watchmen fan”. …

I found this as an ad on facebook, and I thought it was a joke.  So yeah, I clicked that link.  And nope- no joke.  I’m still trying to decide whether I think this is hilarious, or if I hate it.  I’m not sure.  I hate the commercialism- but love that it’s label says “Veidt Enterprises”.  I’ll keep you posted if I make up my mind.

2. Planned Parenthood Gift Certificates…..

Why didn’t I get a ton of these for christmas?  Seriously?  This is one of the most-filled-with-awesome things I’ve ever heard of!!  FYI- this is my stocking-stuffer gift to everyone this coming holiday.  Boys included.  You fellas need to get your junk checked for bugs every once in while, right?  Screw getting that DVD box set you asked for… you’re getting tested for herpes for the holidays.  This seriously made my day!

3. College aged people in Alcoholics Annonymous….

I get lots of “buddy requests” on things like Myspace and Facebook.  Alot are college aged folks.  And I’ve been seeing more and more of them talking about being a “friend of Bill” on their profiles.  I’m all for self-help and all that… but aren’t you SUPPOSED to be blind-drunk in college? Isn’t it part of the curriculum?  You spend a couple years binge drinking and vomiting, then realize that 17 beers and a tray of jello-shots isn’t a good idea on an empty stomach.  You move on to grown-up-land and get together a couple times a year with the old college buddies to try to re-live the old drinking days, but find that you’re too old and have too much self-respect to now consume a jello-shot.  Right?  And it takes quite some time to develop a drinking problem to the degree of going to meetings and swearing off booze for life.  These kids are 20!  I’m really not trying to be insensitive- but come on.  Whatever adult figure in your life told you that you have a problem is lying.  Lemme buy you a beer….

4. Why I keep torturing myself with this video…..

Seriously….. I can’t stop.  With all the horrors of humanity and things in this world that should truly move me to tears- THIS is what makes me bawl like a baby and hug my cats for dear life.  I have watched this movie daily since it was shown to me last week.  I know how pathetic and creepy this is.  I’m a big enough person to stand up and admit my defects.  But when Christian jumps up and hugs those guys- I bawl.  The uncomfortable-to-watch shaking kind of bawling.  Every time.  What the fuck is wrong with me?

5.  How does my husband go through all the dishes in 1 morning?

Brad will deny until blue in the face that he’s not the creator of all dirty dishes in the house- but he’s a god damn liar.  He was home by himself all morning and afternoon.  I came home to a mountain of dishes in the sink, and 6 glasses with dried up orange juice at the bottom of it scattered around the house.  SIX of them!!  Why not just use the same glass?  And it’s not me or Sully…. I don’t drink orange juice, and Sully KNOWS better.  I don’t understand it!!  AND WE HAVE A FUCKING DISHWASHER!!  WHY ARE ALL THE DISHES PILED UP IN THE FUCKING SINK!!  THE DISHWASHER IS 4 INCHES AWAY FROM THE SINK!  IT’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE!!!  JUST PUT THE DIRTY DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER!!! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO TURN IT ON!!  JUST OPEN THE DOOR AND PLACE THEM IN THE SHELF!!!  FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!

And I will also divulge that Brad’s dirty clothes hamper has been in the garage next to the washing machine, filled with clean clothes for 3 months now.  He needs to work on his follow-through.  (I would apologize to Brad for spilling his dirty secrets on here, but he doesn’t read my babble, so I could say anything and it wouldn’t matter).

That is all I have for you all today….. except this……


18 Responses to “Walking around with a gigantic question mark over my head….”

  1. Kararararalyn March 17, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    holy crapppp. i have that same feeling about christian the lion. people actually get mad at me when i send them that link, like…why did you send that to me…i can’t stop crying…back to watching pretty girls puke…

  2. jamie March 17, 2009 at 9:23 pm #

    Christian the lion always makes me cry like a baby.

  3. wonker March 18, 2009 at 1:52 am #

    Interesting blog, I’ll try and spread the word.

  4. Megan March 18, 2009 at 3:52 am #

    Swedish puking lady is seriously the best.. I dont even care if it is planned!

    • Kristen Ferrell March 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

      There’s another lower resolution version of that video that has the translation on it. Apparently after she pukes, she comes back and announces to the live television audience that she has really bad cramps, and the pain makes her throw up. And she then goes on to talk more about menstruation. And then, she excuses herself and pukes again.
      It was so grainy looking, though, that I thought this one was good enough.

  5. juju galaxie March 18, 2009 at 5:57 am #

    oh well…its too sweet for words..

  6. whitney March 18, 2009 at 5:02 pm #

    1. hahahaha!!!! too great. but i am with you… i’m not sure if i should love that or hate it…. hmmm.

    2. brilliant.

    3. i agree with you on most of that, but at the same time, i can see how it maaay be suitable for some young people. i actually have a friend who is adicted to alcohol. not in the “oh, it’s punk, lets drink a 40oz mickey in the park!” but he literally is drunk everytime i see him. he’s only 23…. it’s really sad. he knows he is, but won’t stop. he had alcohol withdrawls back in december WHILE going in to a store to get beer and ended up having 3 grand mal seizures and hit his head… then had to have brain surgery to get a blood clot removed. it’s fricken frightening.
    basically, what i am saying is that people like him and that young would need that AA program…. eesh.

    4. you only saw this video last week!? you’re sooooo outta the loop! but i guess thats okay, cause only a few weeks ago did i find out about that “david at the dentist” video. which you should watch on youtube if you havent already!

    5. it’s a guy thing.

    and that video was hilarious. hahahahha.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 19, 2009 at 10:43 am #

      I know there are a bunch of folks who are “college aged” who need some AA support (and I’m talking only about AA, not NA… I’ve known 15 year old junkies who need some NA help). But it’s the overwhelming number of people that I’ve seen lately who are 19-22 who are preaching the words of Bill. It kindof blows my mind. I was passed-out wasted drunk the majority of my time in college before I found out I was pregnant with Sully… and so was pretty much everyone else I knew. If someone was that drunk in their late 20’s or 30’s while trying to function as an adult, I’d say yeah- maybe they should take a look at their behavior and see if there’s a problem. But that many people that young? It’s just weird.

      And yeah… I’m totally outta the loop, and only saw the Christian the Lion video last week. You know how much of a hermit I am! I always find out about everything years after it’s “hit the scene”. ha!

  7. Paige March 18, 2009 at 5:41 pm #

    Wow the lion video… fucking heartwarming.

    The Swedish game show host… Cool. I can’t stop giggling. .. maybe I should watch the lion video again?
    I am confused… giggling and crying.
    You brightened my… day..err …night.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm #

      I just watched the lion video again… twice.
      And cried again. Twice. I seriously can’t stop.
      I really really really want a lion to love me that much.

      But the puking lady is pretty a good balance for the crying lion video.

  8. christine March 19, 2009 at 3:57 am #

    ugh college kids and their drinking. I live in a college town and if I hear ‘lets play beerpong’ one more time I am going to HURL!!! (not from drinking but just pure irritation) You are supposed to do all your crazy heavy drinking while underage so by the time you reach 21 and can actually go out to places to get alcohol, you do not make a total fool of yourself.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 19, 2009 at 3:28 pm #

      EXACTLY!!!! Over-doing it is a part of learning how to NOT over-do it in the future!!! It’s like when you’re a little kid, and you find where your mom hides all the cookies, and then you eat ALL the cookies and puke… and then you don’t eat ALL the cookies again. When you’re 19-23 or so, that’s the time in your life where it’s perfectly acceptable to be a drunken retard.

      I think the only reason I really get annoyed with drunken college behavior now is because I’m a 32 year old mom who isn’t allowed to be a drunken monkey anymore. I only get stupid drunk about once a year now, and stick to my respectable limit the rest of the time. Once Sully is grown and out of the house, my benders will probably be much more frequent (though I will never go back to jello-shots, and I don’t even KNOW what “beerpong” is)… but no matter how many benders I go on, I still don’t think I’d ever be a “friend of Bill’s”. That’s a whole different league of “benders”.

    • Butcherbaby March 26, 2009 at 3:13 am #

      what the hell is BEERPONG!?!? i’ve heard of beer BONGS but i just can’t figure out what beer PONG is. enlighten me, please?

  9. megan tweed March 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    HAHAHAH…puking is funny!! for reals.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 19, 2009 at 3:19 pm #

      Puking is really really funny. So is watching people falling down. Or when people totally bite it on their bike/skateboard/razor scooter/ surfboard/roller skates/etc.

      Overall, it’s just fun to watch OTHER PEOPLE’S spontaneous and explosive discomfort.

      • whitney March 25, 2009 at 1:32 pm #

        and that’s why AFV is one of the most genius shows!

  10. nicole March 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm #

    omg kristen, i love christian the lion so sosososo much! i’ve never seen that before.. i feel like i’ve been missing out! he’s so fucking cute, look at him lovin’ on them.. he even introduced them to his wife?! omg, too much, too much.. i want my cats to love me that much. they just get pissed when i leave for a long time. =(

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