Really… ya had to be there…

22 May

I loved the ’80’s.  100%.  There were terrible things about it (like high-waisted jeans, and tight-rolled jeans, and acid washed jeans…. actually, it seems that it was just the jeans that were bad)- but as a whole, it was a pretty fucking awesome decade.  And the MOST FUN decade to be a kid in.  Fashion-wise, ANYTHING was acceptable: crimped hair, the birth of fluorescent clothing, Swatch watches (and wearing 10 at a time was fully acceptable), gigantic bangs, fingerless lace gloves, leg warmers, etc.  The more ridiculous you looked- the better.  Everyday was like playing dress-up.

And then there were the movies.  Hollywood made movies about ANYTHING (no matter how ridiculous, unbelievable, or downright retarded)… and that’s what made it fantastic.  Teen Wolf, Goonies, Gremlins, Police Academy, Better Off Dead,  Gleaming the Cube, Karate Kid, Splash, Mad Max, Caddyshack, Revenge of the Nerds, Weird Science, Ghostbusters, Real Genius, Dirty Dancing, Earnest Goes To Camp, Herbie Goes Bananas, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, E.T., Flashdance, Mannequin, Twins, etc…. and Brad and my favorite movie released in 1980- “Cruising” (not because it’s ridiculous, but because the scene where Pacino is all looped out on amly nitrate, dressed like a leatherboy, and bumpin’ it in a gay bar is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen).  These movies would have never survived any other decade.  They were hits BECAUSE it was the ’80’s- and there’s just no going back.

So yesterday, I saw they were remaking “Footlo0se”.

Thank you, Hollywood, for taking something that is truly amazing and ruining it for the sake of a quick buck.  How the hell can you remake “Footlo0se”???  How the hell can you create another Kevin Bacon?  And how the hell is the plot of a small uptight Christian town saved by Kevin Bacon’s love for city-boy dancing going to hold up in the year 2010?????? (It’s supposed to be released in May 2010).  That plot can only be moving and inspiring in the 1980’s.  No other decade will get it.

I know that there are those of you out there who think I’m being pessimistic…. but unless you were a kid of the ’80’s- you just don’t get it.  Unless you experienced Tom Cruise pre-religious-freak-out and remember him from the good old days of “Legend”, “Top Gun”, and “Cocktail”- you’ll never understand.  Unless you experience Molly Ringwald’s awkward beauty in the theaters, you can’t comprehend this.   Unless you wore shoelaces in your hair, a telephone cord for a belt, and 3 polo shirts at once (all collars up, thank you)- you can’t possibly see the blasphemy the “Footloose” remake will be.  You really had to be there.

Even if you weren’t a child of the ’80’s- you can still mourn for the desecration of one of the greatest movies to come out of that era.

Hollywood needs to start having more original thoughts, and stop clinging to the idea that they can “remake” anything and it will hold the same weight as the original.

This is my hurt feelings for today.  Long live Kevin Bacon and his too-tight jeans.


18 Responses to “Really… ya had to be there…”

  1. VJESCI May 22, 2009 at 10:04 pm #

    .my favourite line in footloose is what john lithgow says while holding that book before pointing hartward.

  2. jamie May 23, 2009 at 6:09 pm #

    when i heard about the remake, i was disgusted.

    i also TOTALLY forgot about wearing shoelaces in my hair. and sometimes as a belt around my tunic length shirt.

    also, i am now 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon!

  3. Kristen Ferrell May 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm #

    I’m gonna have to post my 5th grade school picture (if I can find it). Short crimped hair with shoelaces in it, a fluorescent yellow sweater with bright red and blue circles and squares all over it, frosted lipstick, and a mouthful of braces. It’s AWESOME!!!

  4. amyjeen-dollypop May 23, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    i was/am a child of the 80’s.
    remember the 40+ pairs of slouched socks to match he 40+ layered 10 button shirts?
    ya , so i didn’t do that so much but the neon, parachute material everything… made of 100% flammable material was great !
    long live aqua net !!!
    hollywood is dead.
    or should i say creative “genius? it WAS?
    footloose, nightmare on elm street, freakin’ hellraider and videodrone are all being redone.
    oh and p.s
    i still say death to debbie gibson.
    i heard a cover of “time after time” -cyndi lauper today, at least it was semi- stomache-able.

  5. whitney May 24, 2009 at 10:08 am #

    i was a little too young to enjoy the 80’s in full (born ’86 here). but yes, their movies are fantastic. they just don’t make them how they use to! it’s a shame really… and hollywood does need to fuck of and come up with better ideas than doing remakes. *btw, i think ET was made in the 70’s, no? still a great movie though). i’m also ashamed to say that i’ve never seen Footloose. pretty sad, huh? guess i’ll have to netflix that soon!
    while i am at it- we saw the new Terminator movie last night…. pretty bad i must say. cheesey acting, cheesey dialouge…. it was just down right cheesey. i vow NEVER to see any more movies that were made better back in the day and now having sequals… (ie. Indiana Jones: Kindom of the Crystal Skull AND they’re making a newer Mad Max….) movies just suck nowadays… especially if they’re going to try and remake them OR just add more movies to existing movies. it never has the same feeling anymore. it’s all just hollywood mumbo jumbo and shitty effects. FUCK CGI!!

    anyway, that’s all.
    long live the 80’s! (and good movies).

    • daMamma May 24, 2009 at 7:44 pm #

      ET was nominated for best picture in the early 80s. (82-84?)

      • whitney May 25, 2009 at 10:02 am #

        awe, shit, you’re right! it struck me as a late 70’s movie.

        • Kristen Ferrell May 25, 2009 at 11:57 am #

          Late 70’s and early 80’s kindof meshed together as far as fashion and appearance goes. Things started to get 1980’s-nutso around ’84, and then things like Madonna and Cyndi Lauper and Robert Smith and all that really hit the scene- and it was an explosion of odd fantastic madness.

  6. hayley May 24, 2009 at 2:09 pm #

    I’m DEFINETELY not a child of the 80’s (1990) but I love 80’s movies and fashions; i was an 80’s girl for halloween 2 years ago

    Hollywood is obviously running out of new projects to waste money on, so they have to make the 80’s kids suffer by holding their movies hostage. Maybe they didn’t realize it the first time, but the remakes NEVER work. Never ever ever. It’s painful to see these movies get butchered. I shudder to think what Footloose will become, there’s supposed to be a Karate Kid remake with Will Smith’s son.

    All I’m saying is new Hollywood had BETTER keep their grubby paws off any John Hughes/John Cusack movies. Or else I’ll riot in the streets. You are all free to join me

    • Kristen Ferrell May 25, 2009 at 12:08 pm #

      I don’t see how they could remake ANY of those iconic movies. Those movies were made classic because of the people who were in them. You can replace or remake Molly Ringwald, John Cusack, or Anthony Michael Hall. There’s only 1 Ducky. Ferris Bueller can’t be improved or redone. These are definite period pieces- and should stay that way.

      And the HORRIBLE ’80’s movies should be left alone because they are amazing BECAUSE they’re horrible! Like “Mannequin”…that movie was fucking terrible!!! BUT perfect in it’s terribleness.
      Hayley, I will totally riot with you if they ever try to remake “16 Candles”, “Pretty in Pink”, “The Breakfast Club”, “Some Kind of Wonderful”, or “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”. John Hughes is amazing (or was… until he started making the Home Alone sequels… then he kindof fell apart).

  7. daMamma May 24, 2009 at 7:41 pm #

    Some things are wonderful the first time around. After that it just plain sucks. Remakes tend to ruin the film. Sort of like a cheap knock-off copy of a masterful original painting.

    I wish they just wouldn’t.

    • Kristen Ferrell May 25, 2009 at 12:23 pm #

      All these kids of the ’80’s have grown up, and want to have a hand in all the things that they loved as a kid- so they’re remaking them. But you just can’t go back! The only remake that was decent AT ALL was “The Addam’s Family” (but that was a ’60’s remake- not an ’80’s remake, so I’m getting off topic).
      The problem is that nothing is sacred anymore. Every decade has films that define that decade and are deemed as classics- and they should forever stay in their original form. Sure, “Footloose” isn’t “Gone with the Wind”… but it is a pure representation of what the ’80’s were all about. Hollywood wouldn’t dare try to remake “Gone with the Wind”, or “Casablanca”… so why do they feel like they can remake “Footloose”? “Footloose” isn’t “Casablanca”- but it is a classic. They can take the idea of Footloose and make it into something that’s new (kindof like how “Lost” is a modern-day version of “Gilligan’s Island”)… but don’t try to remake it exactly. It’s insulting.

  8. N I C O L E May 25, 2009 at 12:48 pm #

    I was born in the late 80’s and it’s JUST NOT FAIR! I totally missed all the awesome. At least I got a chance to live through all the awesome leftover anti-drug psa’s.

  9. aprilfalling May 26, 2009 at 1:37 pm #

    i’m here to defend the acid wash. ha

    p.s. reallllly want to see your 5th grade photo!!!

  10. Jennifer Darling June 2, 2009 at 8:17 am #

    I’ve been ranting for a long time about all the remakes and sequels and how disgusted I am with them. I hadn’t heard about a Footloose remake.

    I did hear that there could be a Heathers sequel and I can’t put into words how livid this makes me.

    • Kristen Ferrell June 5, 2009 at 5:35 pm #

      Weird that you should mention “Heathers”, because I was randomly thinking about that movie last night, and about how I really need to see it again because it’s been ages!
      If they remake that movie, I truly am going to have to hurt someone.

  11. Cassie malone June 8, 2009 at 5:03 pm #

    Start making your list of who to hurt now, because they ARE making a sequel to Heathers. And Wynona AND Christian have both apparently signed on to do it. They are attempting a sequel to Ferris as well.

    We don’t want to see that! There are hundreds of thousands of books that deserve to be turned in to good movies. Your script writers would have to time to start on one if you would quit trying to grasp at the straws of great movies past and move the feck on!

    There. That is my after rant. (schoolwork has left this 31 year old behind on everything!)
    Still waiting on your 5th grade picture lady!

    • Kristen Ferrell June 11, 2009 at 9:31 am #

      Ya wanna know why Wynona and Christian have signed on to do it? BECAUSE THEY’VE GOT NOTHING ELSE GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES AND ARE DESPERATE TO BE BACK IN THE MOVIES!!! And we must all suffer through their insecurities. UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! It’s fucking ridiculous!!!

      I’m going to go puke everywhere.

      (I think my little brother has a copy of that 5th grade photo… I’ll see if he can email it to me!! 😀 )

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