Somnambulisming alllllll over the place…

23 Mar

I went into the kitchen this morning to make my daily to-go cup of unbearably strong coffee before taking Sully to school and heading off to work, and was met with a ridiculous mess.  Plates stacked on the counter that were originally in the dishwasher, water all over the floor, and shredded coconut strewn everywhere.  Sully told me it was like that when he got up (and OF COURSE he didn’t bother to do anything to clean it up… but he’s only 11, so he get’s a free pass for a little while longer).  I thought for a minute that our stupid littlest kitty, Daisy Ding Dong Stupid Face, had one of her “late night crazies” sessions where she destroys everything she can get to… but the bag of shredded coconut was closed and neatly sitting in it’s place, and how the fuck is a cat going to take the dishes out of the dishwasher?  So I stomped into the bedroom where Brad was still sleeping and asked what he had been up to in the middle of the night that left such a retarded mess for me to clean up.  He laughed and told me that it was all me.  Big sigh.  Sleepwalking strikes again.

Last night, I konked out early while Brad was at band practice.  He said when he got home I was out cold, but a little while after he had come to bed I sat up and started babbling.  He told me that the whole time he kept asking me if I was awake or not, and he says I insisted that I was awake.  Then I apparently marched off to the kitchen for a while… though he doesn’t have any idea what I was doing in there.  Ever since we saw the movie “Paranormal Activity”, he refuses to come find me or see if I’m ok if I’m sleepwalking because he says I’m creepy as hell and he’s afraid that I might come lunging around a dark corner at him with a knife.  So after I came back into the bedroom, he says I attempted to light a cigarette, and then I went back to sleep.  So now my list of night-time adventures is as follows:

  • curling up in corners like a dog
  • moving furniture
  • standing in doorways screaming
  • walking aimlessly in circles
  • taking off my pajamas and wandering the house
  • flinging water and shredded coconut
  • unburdening the dishwasher of dirty dishes
  • playing with my lighter and trying to smoke

I’m sure there’s more.  Much more.  I should set up ‘nanny cams’ in my house and turn them on at night like in “Paranormal Activity” to see what I really do.  But that might just creep me out too much after how unnerving it was to watch the sleepwalking chick in that movie.  God damn that fucking movie.

Aside from that ridiculousness, I should be getting new shirts onto the webstore this week!  And I have a bunch of other designs I’m finishing up right now.  Slowly but surely, back on track.  Yay!

And with that, I will leave you with one of my favorite photos of the week:

I love math people.

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16 Responses to “Somnambulisming alllllll over the place…”

  1. chelsea rae March 23, 2010 at 4:54 pm #

    Oh wow. This kind of made my day.
    And, it also solidified why i will never see that movie. I already get the creepies when Bryce talks in his sleep.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 24, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

      I ADORE scary movies… but am disappointed 99% of the time because they never scare me.
      ‘Paranormal Activity’ did. I don’t know if it’s because I used to live in a haunted house or because of my sleepwalking… but I haven’t been that creeped out since I was little. Which makes it awesome… but I don’t appreciate the fact that I could be gutting myself in the kitchen in my sleep, and Brad could be wide awake in the bedroom letting it happen.

  2. hayley g March 23, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    Don’t get hurt, lady!

    • Kristen Ferrell March 24, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

      I’ll try to avoid it… but I think that’s all in the hands of my subconscious. 😀

  3. haley March 23, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

    your blog distracted me from painting. I love the irony. 🙂

  4. Angela March 23, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    I watched this show about people who have sex in their sleep. Doctors consider this a serious and dangerous medical disorder because people will get out of bed and seriously attempt to have sex with the first thing that comes along. People have been known to wonder out of their houses and approach strangers off the street to have sex. IN THEIR SLEEP!!!! Nothing seems crazy to me after hearing that. I do think that it would be interesting to set up nanny cams. Although, it might freak you out at the same time to see what you’re really doing.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 24, 2010 at 3:52 pm #

      Eeeek! What the fuck!?! How horrifying!! And fully bizarre!!
      When I was reading up on sleepwalking, it said that people have driven their cars, woken up fully dressed and eating breakfast, been outside doing yardwork,etc.
      The thought of leaving the house is what scares me the most. We live in a super safe neighborhood- but it’s still unnerving. I can’t imagine leaving the house and then propositioning people for sex. The human mind is a mess.

    • butcherbaby March 26, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

      i had an ex that did that, but it was only with me. he’d never remember it, but i’d wake up with a smile on my face.
      he also sleepwalked/talked and would watch tv or eat. it was so weird because his eyes would be all red and glazed.

  5. amyjeen-dollypop March 23, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    holy crap girl. i feel your um, confusion hah.
    last time andy witnessed me doing the same, i came out of the bedroom with the accordian and put it on the table. when andy asked what i was doing i said it was for the girl in case she got scared. then proceeded to make myself a plate of cheese and crackers, sat down, ate one and then said “o.k.i’m ready” and went back to bed. poor guy gets freaked out. i have to say that when he does, makes me giggle.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 24, 2010 at 3:54 pm #

      HA HA HA!!! That’s hilarious!!! We’ve got to swap more ‘late night adventure’ stories, cuz that one is a hoot!!

  6. jamie March 23, 2010 at 11:44 pm #

    oh god yeah, i have the biggest crush on randall munroe and his brain and his comic ever.

    • Kristen Ferrell March 24, 2010 at 3:54 pm #

      Amazingness,right?
      I wish I was better at math so that I could be witty with it.

  7. Tawni March 26, 2010 at 8:53 am #

    Oh…. wow. This is amazing. You are amazing. Your brain is so cool and trippy. I love it. And the fact that you have your husband officially cowering in fear of you *while you are sleeping* is possibly the best thing I have ever heard. I need to find a way to make that happen for me. Haha.

    I was told by an ex that in the middle of the night, after passing out drunk, I got up and crawled into this weird, dirty attic crawl space he used for storage. I had absolutely no recollection of doing this. He said he only woke up because he heard laughter coming from inside his wall (his bedroom was the attic room). He opened the tiny little door and found me sitting there completely naked, not quite awake or asleep, just giggling. I totally spooked him. YES. 🙂

    • Kristen Ferrell March 26, 2010 at 3:15 pm #

      I think that is a FAR better story than mine!!! YOU’RE amazing!!!!

      Brad only cowers in fear of me while I’m sleeping because he knows that in waking life I’d never stab him… but while I’m wandering around in my sleeping fugue-state, it’s a very strong possibility. It just took him watching Paranormal Activity to be able to envision it, and then truly fear it. Ha!!

      • butcherbaby March 26, 2010 at 4:55 pm #

        it could happen….i have a friend who almost brained her roommate with a crowbar while she was sleepwalking because she thought he was a zombie.

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