Extremities vs Hard Candy… which kind of lady are you?

9 Aug

We’ve recently jumped into the world of streaming movies from Netflix through our Wii.  This is trouble for me.  One of the reasons why I got rid of our access to television a decade ago (aside from the fact that the majority of what is on TV is complete dog shit, and I wasn’t going to pay hard-earned money for dog shit) is that I am a TV junkie.  I will watch that dog shit obsessively, foregoing all other responsibilities.  “Saved By The Bell” 9 hour marathon?  I’m watching it.  Paula Abdul reality show? I’m watching it.  Infomercials?  Yup… those too.  I’m so much happier and more productive with that dog shit far away from me.  Then we held Netflix’s hand and took that technological jump- and now I’m fucked.  Fortunately I can grab my laptop and sit in front of that damned idiot-box and do work, or draw/paint in front of it.  But I see big trouble on the horizon.

Putting that aside, I watched a 1980’s Farrah Fawcett movie the other night called “Extremities”.  For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a “sexual assault victim gets revenge” movie- or that’s how Bradly explained it to me when we sat down to watch it.  I LOVE the “women getting even” movies.  Love love love love love.  My favorite modern movie of all times is “Hard Candy” (if you haven’t seen it… go do it.  Now. Don’t worry, I’ll wait….).

So, when watching Farrah, I was soooo hoping to see an ’80’s version of “Hard Candy”.  But it ended upsettingly.  Or at least it was upsetting to me.  Here’s the comparison of the 2 movies, and where I start to wonder if I should be having a moral dilemma- but something in me isn’t working properly. (There are spoilers here- so if you don’t want to know how these movies end, don’t read any further.)

Extremities:

  • Woman gets assaulted by a rapist/murderer and gets away.
  • Woman realizes that the police won’t help her, and our laws aren’t set up to protect her.
  • Woman is stalked and attacked by predator again- but gets the upper hand and the predator is at her mercy and can do whatever she wants to him and won’t get caught.
  • Knowing full well that if predator is given to the authorities, he will eventually get out and come after her again.
  • She lets him live… because it was the right thing to do.

Hard Candy:

  • Girl is aware of a rapist/murderer who stalks his victims online.
  • Girl realizes that the police and the laws are not set up to protect her, or any other girls.
  • Girl gets in situation where the predator is going to take advantage of her- but gets the upper hand and the predator is at her mercy and can do whatever she wants to him and won’t get caught.
  • Knowing full well that if the predator is given to the authorities, he will eventually get out and come after more young girls.
  • He does not survive… because it was the right thing to do.

Do ya see where I’m going with this?  Which is the “right and moral” thing to do here?  When I watched “Hard Candy” for the first time, at the end I stood on the couch and screamed “YYYEEESSS!!!!” so loudly I woke up Sully and scared the cats out of the room.  And after watching “Extremities”, I sat there utterly bewildered and disappointed, because she didn’t get revenge… I saw her getting screwed by ethics.  Brad and I had a little debate after Farrah about what the general population would do in this situation- and Brad thought that the general population would pull a Farrah instead of a Hard Candy.  His reasoning is that people would not want to stoop to the rapist’s level and act like an animal, and people are also afraid of getting caught.  This baffled me- because I would “Hard Candy” all over the place an never lose 1 second of sleep… but I accept that I’m just an animal, so I can act like one if the situation dictates it.  But it made me wonder if I’m WAY off target with my lack of respect for human life if that life is attached to a monster.

So this goes out to you, my little bunnies.  I want to get a feel for just what’s going on out there in the minds of ladies (and fellas) pertaining to this.   Here it is:

You or someone you love has been attacked by a serial rapist- but you’ve found yourself in a situation where you have him cornered and he can’t hurt you- or anyone else.  He’s completely at your mercy- but you KNOW that if you turn him over to the police, he will either walk or get out after a short amount of time.  You KNOW he will come after you again, someone you love, or just keep doing what he does- there’s no question about this.  In this situation, you can kill him and never ever get caught… so do you do it?  Do you go vigilante and take out the trash; or do you go humanitarian and take your chances with the law taking over?

No knee-jerk anger answers- really think about it.  Which one are you?  Farrah or “Hard Candy”?

Now… to lighten things up a bit after a heavy topic… I ate fried butter at the county fair last week, as well as a fried Klondike bar… and I feel no regret or shame about this at all.  That’s how I roll.  Can I get a fist-pump for clogged arteries?  Holla if ya hear me…

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26 Responses to “Extremities vs Hard Candy… which kind of lady are you?”

  1. mitzibel August 9, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    Farrah Fawcett can go hang. (Not the lady herself, I’m sure she’s lovely, but . . .)

    Someday when you’re back in Kansas I’m going to have to buy you a drink and tell you the story about the time I was fourteen and thought I was pregnant, and what he did, and what I did, and why he *still* turned green and ran away as fast as his unencumbered legs could carry him a decade later when he saw me across the aisle in Wal Mart 😉

    My daughter has already gotten in trouble at school for putting a boy who tried to hurt her in an arm-lock and taking him to the ground. Did she get candy for this? What the hell do you think?

  2. mitzibel August 9, 2010 at 9:13 pm #

    And now for a more reasoned reply . . .

    Vigilante-ism has its time and place. Those times and places being when and where the existing systems fail the majority of victims. And let’s face it–right now, when it comes to *true* sex crimes, they do.

    But then you have to think about the flip side–*most* sex crimes that take place among adult women (not children–don’t even GET me into that discussion, or neither of us will ever sleep or get sober again)–and I count “past puberty” as “adult”–happen not because of the nameless, faceless, predator, but because women STILL DON’T FUCKING THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST SOMEONE THEY THINK IS A FRIEND OR FAMILY. Or know how. Or even have been programmed to consider the option until the next morning. Or understand that there are a lot of fucking scumbags out there, and know from earliest adolescence that if they’re going to put themselves in vulnerable places or states of intoxication, they had damn well better do it in teams.

    Sexual predators need to be eliminated, period. But so does the system of raising our daughters–and ourselves–to second-guess and doubt and feel so much shame in their evil, awful, sin-inducing gender that they can’t even conceive of a society where men should never get away with that sort of barbarity. Or that the only way they can get themselves to a state of mind where they’re able to indulge themselves in sexuality or even sensuality–or let’s face it, even a little bit of self-confidence and sense of fabulosity–is by getting so fucking drunk that they’re no longer in any state to know where they left their wallet, much less who they’re letting up their skirt.

    • Kristen Ferrell August 10, 2010 at 3:11 pm #

      Amen, lady.
      I have a tendency to be very “black-and-white” about things (which sometimes leaves me wondering if I’m being too harsh). I also have a manic compulsion towards following the “rules of society”. Now- don’t let the term “rules of society” be confused with the “laws of the United States”… because these 2 things are very different. The “rules of society” are social rules (ie: behavioral rules that are present in all animals that behave socially) that if followed by everyone, we’d live together peacefully. The “laws of the USA” and the “laws of society” many times conflict. If you look at other social animals, if one of the animals is a threat to the group- it’s shunned. But for some reason, we don’t do that. We may shun them temporarily (like send them to jail)- but the most broken members of our society (rapists, pedophiles, sexual predators) are allowed back into our society- because of the “laws of the USA”. Again and again and again. The “laws of society” dictate that we destroy them for the good of the herd. The “laws of the USA” have failed. Monumentally.
      This could be me being too “black and white”- but I hope I’m wrong about that.

  3. Darla August 10, 2010 at 12:36 am #

    Kill kill kill.
    a LOT of my open minded friends would say to call the cops- but putting the guy in jail would only postpone the inevitable. He’ll get out. They always get out. And he’ll do it again. THEY ALWAYS DO IT AGAIN.
    Death row is a joke, and a waste of time, money and legal resources- but death is what they deserve. Because they may not kill a woman (or child) physically- but they kill their soul, and they never trust again.

  4. Katie August 10, 2010 at 5:20 pm #

    He dies. It seems pretty simple to me. If someone hurt or killed one of the people I love and was left to have a chance to do it again, I would do everything I could to make sure that didn’t happen. And knowing I wouldn’t get caught makes it the much easier of a decision. Laws don’t protect the victims that’s for sure.

  5. Andrea Jay August 10, 2010 at 8:58 pm #

    First off, im going to state that i just went straight to my opinion rant and am going to read other peoples opinions after im done. so if i repeat anything that anyone else has already said…this is why.

    soo…i consider myself a very logical person. and i do think about these situations a lot, although i myself have no first hand experience. and to use your words (kristen), i would so “Hard Candy” the fuck out of that guy/girl without even a second thought. because THAT is the right thing to do. on the “who plays god (if he/she does exist)” debate i try to stay away from actually choosing one or the other, because both sides have presented choices that i can not fully get on just yet. in some situations, i like to take the “high road” as some call it, because i feel that “sinking” to that level will not help anyone, or make a positive impact whatsoever. (which is what we should be doing.) in the above mentioned, this mindspace does not apply. this is the kind of situations only movies create…but that being said…if i ever found myself alone with such a waste of life, and knew he had hurt someone i loved and i could do whatever i wanted to him/her and knew i would never get caught? that person would not live.

    also, i found it interesting that we both share the same view even though i am Canadian and you are American. i always thought Canadians were much more leaniant with our laws, but i guess when it comes to the people we love, vigilante justice is the best kind of justice.

    • Kristen Ferrell August 11, 2010 at 11:51 pm #

      In my humble opinion, vigilante justice is the only alternative when all other justice fails. 60% of women don’t report rape or sexual assault because of the public shame of it and because they know the legal system will fail them. And the 40% that actually do go to the police, unless the identity of the rapist is known to the victim AND can be proven, or the rapist is already in the system and they can tie it to other crimes- it goes “unsolved”. So you put 100 rape victims in a room, and how many of their attackers are behind bars? 5? 8? And THEN you throw in prison overcrowding, and most of them don’t even serve a fraction of the time they’re supposed to- and they’re back out on the street to do it again. Like Darla above said- they ALWAYS do it again.

      This is why my house is armed top to bottom with weapons- pepper spray, air guns loaded with ball bearings (works just like a gun but you don’t need a license), machetes under my mattress and placed around my house that only I know where they are but can easily grab… because if some fucker tries to break into my house to get me (which happened to me in college), I’m going to make sure he leaves in a fucking body bag.

  6. amyjeen August 11, 2010 at 7:11 am #

    howsabout this- borrow from “The Running Man” and send these p.o.s’ out to be hunted. televise it on the tube for youngins thinking about becoming a bad bad dog when they grow up in hopes of derailing such, and a good portion of the proceeds the show earns is donated to programs to aid the victims .
    brilliant !

  7. TaraRist August 11, 2010 at 7:59 am #

    Appropriately enough I am reading this post on the 1 month anniversary of my rape.
    I have been very level-headed and emotionally stable throughout my healing process so I say this with complete sincerity and a rational mind.
    I would KILL that motherfucker in a second.
    I was attacked walking home, minding my own business and this piece of shit gorilla of a man ran up behind me and tackled all 120 pounds of my 5’2 self. After he dragged me into the bush and finished using me to play out his sick and demented fantasies, he TURNED HIMSELF IN. The Detective on my case informed me that this guy didn’t feel bad but that is the end to his “script”. This guy is SO FUCKED UP that not only has he done this multiple times, but he follows the same pattern every single time. He turns himself in not out of remorse, but because he is utterly insane and that’s the perfect ending to a fantasy he has played out again and again.
    He’s a serial rapist. The police all knew who he was the second I gave my statement.
    How is this possible?! I’ll tell you: sexual offenders (especially in Canada where I live) barely get any jail time. Not to mention the fact that since the man who raped me didn’t beat me up (which I know is due to the way I reacted during the attack not because he’s just a nice dude) he won’t be charged with “Aggravated” assault and as such he won’t get NEARLY as long a sentence! He’s going to get out and he’s going to do this again, because he doesn’t rape for sexual gratification or violence against women. He’s the type of guy who is ADDICTED to doing this to women and is inherently fixated on playing out the same disgusting scenario over and over again. How can he possibly be rehabilitated??
    Since I can’t kill him (which I already said would be no moral dilemma for me) I’m doing the next best thing: a friend of mine informed me that her husband has a friend who works as a corrections officer in the prison that my rapist will be sent. He has asked me if I’d be ok if he “accidentally” let it slip to the prison populace that this dude is a serial rapist, which is bad news for that monster because rapists are NOT treated very kindly in prison.
    I told him that I’d be THRILLED.

    • TaraRist August 11, 2010 at 9:46 am #

      Proof that a “justice” system will never prevail over a “legal” one.

      http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/Convict+release+sparks+police+warning/3381553/story.html

      • Kristen Ferrell August 11, 2010 at 11:12 pm #

        This is insane. Absolutely insane. But the same thing goes on here in the states every day- but there aren’t articles to warn the public about it. Just a few months ago there was a very publicized case of a man who raped and killed a high school girl- and they discovered that he had done the same thing to a girl a few years before. From the times he was in prison prior to that last girl he raped and killed, the prison shrink said that he was a serious danger to society, that he WOULD assault more women and that he should never be released… but he was. And he would have kept raping and killing if he hadn’t been caught. The system didn’t even listen to the doctors they employ- they just let the monster out, and a girl died because of it.
        We live in a traumatically backwards culture.

    • Rainbow2bryte August 11, 2010 at 9:52 am #

      So sorry Tara…. 😦

      And how frustrating to be minimized due to no “visible” wounds. I hope you consider some counseling. Good luck w/ your “new normal.”

      • TaraRist August 11, 2010 at 11:49 am #

        Oh I’ve had counselling once a week since it happened. I have nothing but AMAZING things to say about the victim support system my City (Edmonton, Alberta) has provided. The police, emergency workers and the Sexual Assualt Centre of Edmonton (S.A.C.E) have all been incredible. It’s just the “justice” system that really disappoints me.

    • Kristen Ferrell August 11, 2010 at 11:35 pm #

      My god… I am so so sorry!
      I love Canada… but this is something that has always disturbed me. I’ve heard that they are lax with sentencing as far as sexual predators go- but with drug charges, they’re a little bonkers. My husband had 2 felony drug charges from over 25 years ago, and 1 of them has been completely expunged from his record. But Canada will still not let him cross the border to go play tours with his bands because of them. He’s even contacted the Canadian Embassy and tried to officially be able to get into the country (even presenting letters of recommendations from prisons, psyche wards, and detox centers that he works with to help people get and stay sober)- and he was completely denied. These ancient charges deem my husband (who has been sober for over a decade and a half) a threat to the Canadian public- but a serial rapist is let out over and over and over again. Where are the priorities? Where is the basic humanity of it? How do our governments not see this as a monumental slap in the face to all women and children who are potential victims? They don’t value our safety, our security, or our psychological well-being. And it’s because of this that I would have no problem killing these predators. If the governments- who are created to protect and serve the people- are giving more consideration to individuals who’s primal need is to hurt and destroy innocent people, then I think it’s time for a little vigilante work.
      Stay strong, lovely lady. Time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds- but it definitely makes them much easier to look at.

  8. Rainbow2bryte August 11, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    Hmmm… I haven’t seen either movie and am not sure I will. (I have problems watching things like that now, as it’s a major “trigger” for me).

    I wish I could answer this 100%! I was not put in the situation (luckily) to have that opportunity. I figured, first try to go about it the “right” way via the justice system, and if that doesn’t work… well, I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it.

    I know your stance on “God” but I will tell you this….

    Two days after my assault I was manically running around chain smoking and packing etc. Of course I’m thinking, “Why? Why did this happen to ME? What did I do wrong?”
    and then BAM! Like a punch in the face, a voice (God IMO) said, “It had to happen to you. Because you’re going to be the one to stop him.”

    So, my belief wasn’t so much vengeance. It was the fact that I KNOW what this individual is capable of and I MUST STOP HIM from ever doing it to someone else at all costs. Like a warrior of God or some shit. And I could never live with that guilt! HA!

    The “system” actually worked. He rots in prison for the next 70 years. Yes. You read right. 7-0!

    SO! Conclusion! Never been faced with that. Hope I never will. But I think it’s pretty likely that I’d have to snuff out the evil myself… for the sake of humanity.

    Phew! Thanks! What a therapeutic reply! 😉

    • Kristen Ferrell August 11, 2010 at 11:57 pm #

      I ADORE hearing that the system actually worked for someone!!! That is amazing. I’ve only ever heard of that happening 1 other time, and that was with a serial rapist that used to live in the town in Kansas I used to live in. He got put away until he’s 80.
      My heart swells for your ability to find closure, and your security of knowing that you saved other women. I really wish there were a million other stories like yours!!

      But yes… you probably want to steer clear of “Extremities”… but “Hard Candy”- there are no sexual assault scenes (because I have a really hard time with those scenes too)… it’s just a young girl taking down a bad man. And it’s pretty phenomenal. 😀

  9. Nicole Matheny August 11, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    If you didn’t hate Tarantino films, I’d recommend Death Proof…bad ass women getting even/Kurt Russel as the bad guy. The combination is amazing.

  10. Nicole Matheny August 11, 2010 at 12:19 pm #

    Also! Since we’ve gotten into the subject of laws not protecting the victims…another movie I recommend is a documentary called Dear Zachary (its on netflix instant!). It will make you blubber like a baby, but it’s the scary truth that the victims are never the ones protected. I highly recommend it.

    • Kristen Ferrell August 11, 2010 at 11:59 pm #

      I’m going to have to check this out! I don’t mind blubbering like a baby.
      But I wish I didn’t hate Tarantino films too… because he does a lot of the “bad ass lady” films. But something in my just makes me go bananas watching them… much to Brad’s dismay because he loves Tarantino. Haha!! 😀

  11. LRA September 26, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

    I’m a really nice person, I promise. But, I must say that I (too) experienced a sexual assault (attempted rape) in college when a stranger broke into my house a 3 in the morning. It was traumatic for me and I slept with an ice pick until I could move out and get a new place. Anyhoo, I personally wouldn’t want to live with the additional trauma of killing someone, so here’s what I’d do instead…

    I’d confine the person somewhere he could never escape from and walk away. Yup. That’s what I’d do. I’d leave ’em to starve or die of exposure, but the image of killing someone wouldn’t be in my head!!! It seems win-win to me. I don’t have to rely on the joke of a legal system fucking up and I don’t actually have to do the killing myself. So, I guess I’m a “Hard Candy Lite” kinda girl. LOL!

    • Kristen Ferrell September 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

      I think that’s a really really good plan.
      “Hard Candy Lite”… hahahahaha!!!!

  12. carla January 8, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    …just catching up on your blog…..hard candy all the way for me – the harder the candy the better. but, i must say, i have a similar affinity for cinematic vengeance. my porn is any movie which depicts the act of violence by a parent against their child’s wrong-doer. these movies need not possess any acting talent, or quality writing or directing whatsoever. a few of my faves are TAKEN, THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and LAW ABIDING CITIZEN. i can. not. get. enough. of these movies. i am not a violent person by nature. i’ve never been in a fight, i don’t spank my kids, and i bring spiders outside in a little cup (and only if it’s a warm sunny day outside). however, these movies move me in a way that words can not describe. so, yes, i can totally get behind hard candy all the way :O

  13. Gitte Hansen August 19, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    I work as a psychotherapist here in Denmark, I among other things treat rapists and victims of rape and I’ve been in business for over 32 years. I’m not aware of how the system works in the states, but here we give a treatment sentence besides the jail time as most rapists are sick and can be treated for the better. Approx. 60% of all the rapists I treat have been victims themselves as a child and have never been treated for it.

    I also treat the victims of rape and to those whose reading I can assure you, that if you find the right shrink, you’ll be able to get well within a couple of years. And I’d recommend you try switching shrink if you arent on your way to becoming mentally healed within 2 years, not all shrinks are equally good.

    I would consider some of the answers here radical and callous, I understand the frustrations that comes with being raped, but rape is and will never be the same as killing someone, nor would it justify killing someone. Just be aware that your solutions are radical so you don’t end up thinking its the only mindset, and it serves absolutely no one in society. Hopefully my post can enlighten you, bring down the radicalism and help you understand that rapist are often sick and needs to be looked at that way, and treated to the benefit of society as a whole. If your government doesn’t give a treatment sentence then you should turn your frustrations in to energy and make sure your politicians aware of the research available.

    Have a pleasent day and take care,
    Gitte Busk Hansen

    • Kristen Ferrell September 5, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

      In the states, petty drug dealers are given much harsher sentences than child molesters and rapists- even if they are repeat offenders. And the statistics I’ve seen for how much change can actually occur when a sex offender undergoes therapy is quite the opposite from what you’re saying. So we’re living a very different reality than what you are in Denmark. We’ve been screaming at our government for decades… they don’t listen. Or care.

      Yes… our comments may be callous – but when violent sexual offenders only get a slap on the wrist out here and are put back into society over and over again, our community tends to lose patience. My stance is simple: there are over 6.5 BILLION people on this planet. If some of those people are going out into our global community and destroying the lives of children and women to appease their own broken and sick compulsions – kill them. We don’t need them. We won’t miss them. We will actually be better off without them. They are wasting our resources, sucking away at our tax dollars for their therapy/court costs/prison housing, and bringing nothing positive to the “global table”. Yes- some of them were assaulted as a child… but just because someone was abused as a child doesn’t mean they will become abusers AND it doesn’t give abusers a free pass. Again… 6.5 billion people… we haven enough people already and can do without the pathologically broken.

      Sexual offenders are a cancer. When you discover cancer in your system you don’t hug it,coddle it, listen to talk about it’s feelings and try to coax it into not being a cancer. You cut it out and throw it away to save the rest of the body from being infected. As a woman and a mother, I refuse to have patience with these people.

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