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Just because we can, DOESN’T mean we should….

12 May

I worked retail for about 10 years.  When you work retail for an extended amount of time, you’re exposed to just about every type of person out there- and you grow to loathe almost all of them.  But the people that I grew to hate with a blind wild passion are couples with litters of children.  All my friends in the food service industry will raise a fist in the air and scream “hell yeah!” to this statement as well.  You’ve got over-tired parents just trying to get out of the house for a while, and their kids are running and screaming through stores and restaurants…. almost tripping waiters or getting their grubby clumsy little hands on all the merchandise in the store.  But do the parents stop them? Of course not!  Why?  Because they’re too fucking exhausted from over-breeding to be able to pay close enough attention to all their millions of kids, and there are just too many of them to keep track.  These people are service workers worst enemy.

Not only is having massive amounts of kids selfish and completely narcissistic (come on- are you REALLY that awesome that you need to duplicate your genetic code over and over and over and over again? No, you aren’t), but it’s so globally irresponsible that it’s sickening.  Overpopulation is the number one reason why our planet is a complete mess… too much waste, too much consumption, too much over-development of our wildlife, too many toxins, too many landfills, too many factories, etc etc etc etc.  When I see people with enough children to have their own family softball team, it makes me nauseous, and I have to fight the urge to beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of them.  To inflict the planet’s population with your pathetic drive to start your own genetically-coordinated city is just rude.

A couple days ago, Brad showed me this photo:

This is a couple in Arkansas who have 17 kids, and are expecting child number 18.  18 FUCKING CHILDREN!!!! I had to take a couple days before I vomited my public response to this because I blew my fucking top.  How dare these piles of trash burden our society with this much breeding!!!  How fucking ignorant are these assholes??!  I hate these people to my very core.

Let’s talk about waste… starting with diapers.  A baby will go through about 5 diapers a day (if your lucky- but it’s usually more those first few months).  By age 2, a child will go through approx. 3650 diapers.  If you have 18 fucking kids, that comes to over 65,700 diapers.  That is this asshole family’s contribution to our landfills.  But let’s say they used cloth diapers instead- when you have a baby, you’re doing laundry every day anyways- but ESPECIALLY if your using cloth diapers.  On average, one load of laundry uses about 22 gallons of water.  But let’s be realistic and say that these folks have to do about 2-3 loads a day because they are starting their own army.  In their 18 years of breeding, they will use 290,000-434,000 gallons of water on laundry alone. That doesn’t include the chemicals going into our environment from detergents- or the hard core bleaching chemicals that a cloth diaper service uses if they chose this route.  This is just diapers and laundry… then there is water waste from this many people’s dishes, bathing, etc.  Then there is food waste and consumption.  And energy waste to keep this many people going.  Etc etc etc….  god- this family makes me SICK!!!!

I don’t know exactly what the “right” number of kids is.  My mom always told me that after my little brother came along, she realized that 3 kids was a little too much to handle, and that you should only have as many kids as you have hands (or else the extra kids are running with scissors in the streets towards strangers with candy).  Every child deserves so much love, care, and attention that if those emotions have to be split up between too many kids someone is going to be neglected.  And if you DO want to have more babies than you know what to do with- how about adoption???  How about the countless numbers of children in the foster care system who are DESPERATE for a loving home?  Do you REALLY need for ALL your kids to have mommy’s eyes, or daddy’s nose?  If someone is so fucking ignorant that they think 18 kids is a good idea, that’s the LAST person on the planet who should have 18 kids.

I’m going to find out where these fuckers live, and mail them an economy sized box of condoms and some “safe sex” literature that can be found at any local highschool.  Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar from Rogers, Arkansas… fuck you to hell for making our planet a that much more crowded and filthy by your blind stupidity and inflated sense of genetic greatness.  God won’t be mad at you for slowing down the reproduction… and your uterus will thank you (if it hasn’t fallen out in an attempt to escape already).


I found my religion, and it’s called “Kick you in the head”…

2 May

It’s become painfully obvious to me that I have gotten out of shape. I don’t give a shit about being all “buff” and “ripped” and all those grotesque phrases invented by sweaty-overcompensating-gym-going fellas. But it isn’t healthy for me to sit at my computer or my drawing table for a combined 12+ hours… and I can feel it by how easily I get winded. But I’ve become really bored with yoga (I just can’t justify spending 30-45 minutes a day stretching when I’m constantly running behind). It no longer holds the same “zen” quality it once did… and it actually stresses me out more because I can’t quit thinking about all the things I could to be doing while I’m “stretching”.

So a couple of months ago, we got one of those giant suspended punching bags. It’s been sitting, still in it’s box, in our garage… just waiting to be pounded. I’ve asked Brad repeatedly to put it up, but there’s always a long list of other things he HAS to do instead. So the other night, I put the goddamn thing up myself. All 75 pounds of it. Installed it into the ceiling of the garage. It quickly became the new love of my life (and it came with little red boxing gloves, so my new love makes me look all tough and legit as well). Here is my baby……

Ya see that red ‘X’ on there? That measures about 5’5″ in height. My goal with that?… that’s about where the middle of someone’s face would be who is taller than me. I want to be able to kick someone square in the face in the most quick and efficient way possible. I was heavily involved in dance for about 10 years, so the strongest part of my body is my legs. Punching is always fun… but kicking is my focus. If someone ever comes at me, I want to see teeth flying. I’m a good scrapper (going for eyes, throat, and crotch)…. but extra skills never hurt.

As I’m trying out my new punching bag (it’s now totally mine since I birthed it from the box and brought it life… sorry, Brad!!), I realize this is the most cathartic thing I’ve experienced in YEARS!!! I begin to picture all the times Brad has pissed me off, and the face of the guy who told me my bank line of credit was cut, and that asshole who was driving 30 mph on a 45 mph road when I was running behind getting Sully to school…. and I punched and kicked that fucking bag for 40 minutes without stopping.

I realized that this is what “confession” must feel like. Purging the bullshit, and walking away cleansed and free.  I don’t have feelings of guilt because I don’t fuck up… but I cling to anger like it’s my first-born. And finally getting to release it was about as close to religion as I’ve ever gotten. So I’m starting a cult called “Kick you in the head”. Anyone can join. No rules or judgment or hell and damnation. Just head-kicks to a punching bag.

By yesterday, I was able to efficiently hit my ‘X’ with a solid side-kick. And I have the photo to prove it:

Those white scuff marks are from my shoes.

For the record, I wear spiked heels alot. So everyone has now been warned… a head-kick from me will probably take out an eye as well.


I REALLY wish Kansas would stop making an ass of itself…

19 Feb

I currently have the flu. And I’m taking a break from work because every time I try to paint, snot runs out of my nose all over whatever it is I’m trying to work on at the time. I’m fully grossing myself out with my drainage. But if my writing on this comes out jarbled and incoherent, blame it on my viral infestation.

With that being said…I’m from Kansas. I have much Kansas pride. Which is why it breaks my heart when Kansas decides to walk around in public with not only it’s fly down, but big gigantic wads of underwear sticking out and streams of toilet paper hanging out of the back of it’s pants. Time and time again it’s the center of public backwards thinking; from the horrifying behavior of Fred Phelps, to the ignorance of creationism in public school science classes. I swear to christ not everyone from Kansas is mentally retarded… but unless you have lived there, it’s press would lead you to believe otherwise.

The latest public debacle comes from a private Catholic school outside of Topeka. You can watch the broadcast of the story HERE. Hopefully that link comes up (and I got it off Yahoo news… so please forgive the advertisements- I really don’t give a shit if you want to order Netflicks, or whatever ads they have running on there).

If the link doesn’t come up, here’s a summery…. a female referee of highschool basketball was told that she couldn’t ref in their games there because it was a boy’s game, and she was a woman. Why? Because no woman is to have any leadership or dictatorship over men.

Um…. excuse me? Are you fucking kidding? This is insane on so many levels that it blows my mind. The other ref (who was male) that was also supposed to work the game refused to work the game when the officials of the school asked her leave because he was blown away by the unfairness of it. He asked the officials if the school had female teachers- to which the response was “yes”. So he inquired as to why if there were female teachers, what was the problem with having a female referee. They said that they didn’t know… but she just had to leave.

What kind of message is this supposed to send the the teenaged boys on the team? That a grown woman- an ADULT- has no authority over them. How are they supposed to respect their mothers, or grandmothers, or girlfriends, or future wives? What about female bosses, or police officers, or elected officials? All this bullshit because Eve took the magic apple from the talking snake and gave it to Adam. Vomit vomit vomit.

So in the year 2008, this is where we stand. My mother worked in Catholic schools for a while, and she said that the amount of disrespect she received from the boys there was unbelievable because of this kind of mindset. How are women ever supposed to get fair and equal treatment in this society if this kind of social retardation is still prevalent enough for it to govern the simple act of refereeing a boys highschool basketball game?

This is the kind of shit that frightens me for the upcoming election. I have a horrifying gut feeling that McCain is going to win. I really don’t think our country is progressive enough for a female president… or for a black president either. I’d LOOOOVE to think that we’re to a place where skin color and gender no longer puts limitations on people- but that’s profoundly idealistic (just open any page of any newspaper, and watch the countless incidents of racism, sexism, homophobia, and ignorant hate jump out and burn your eyes). If in the very mundane situation of refereeing a highschool game, someone is asked to leave their job because they don’t own a penis… that reeks of just how far our country really has to go before we’re caught up with the rest of the planet (who have had female leaders, as well as leaders who aren’t of the same race as the majority of that country’s population). We are so behind in the race that we actually think we’re winning it. And we wonder why we’re the globe’s inside joke? Geeeeezzzzz…..

I’d like to rant more, but I keep typing the wrong letters and my brain is all fuzzy because of flu meds. Maybe the “nervousness may occur” side effect will kick in, and I’ll go on a typing psycho-frenzy…. but for now, I sign off in disgust.

****disclaimer****……. I KNOW all catholics don’t hold such a sexist mindset. I KNOW that not all catholic schools are run like this. Please don’t go for my jugular screaming that I’m being judgmental of all the Catholics out there and bla bla bla. I’m not. Ok? Are we all still friends? Good.